Having something in common with Jackie Stallone is not something to shout about.
If that thing is reading bottoms then there's probably even more reason to keep quiet. Still Sam Amos, from Knottingley, seems to be enjoying her status as one of only two rumpologists in the world and a session with the full-time psychic is certainly a cheaper and arguably more pleasant alternative to having Sly's mother poring over your rear.
A variation on the more traditional tarot cards and palm reading, Sam claims to be able to recite your past and predict the future with a mere glance at your bottom.
"The left cheek tells me about the past and the right tells me about the future," says 47-year-old Sam, as though reading bottoms is as run-of-the-mill a career choice as accountancy. "It all came about because I told a friend you could get a psychic reading from anything. It was a silly thing to say because at a party he said, 'Go on, Sam, read that guy's bottom'."
Never one to say no to a challenge, Sam did and now six years on, she makes a living out of it.
She boasts she has been called on to read photographs of a number of famous behinds, including Robbie Williams, Posh and Becks, former Ginger Spice Geri Halliwell and has appeared on TV to give Darius's bottom the once over.
The results, she says, have been impressive.
"We think we know a lot about a celebrity's life, but it's only what they are prepared to tell us or what we read about in the tabloids."
Sam is convinced rumpology works.
So while I would quite like to make my excuses and leave, the proof of the bottom is in the reading and it's time to see what secrets my own is hiding...
I've never been particularly embarrassed about my behind. Admittedly it could never be mistaken for Kylie's, but equally it's not modelled on Dawn French, but somehow standing in Sam's living room wearing, for photographic reasons, a pair of carefully selected pants – basically, the nearest things I could get to shorts without looking like a prude – I feel a little exposed.
What if my bottom, flattered by the attention, decides to spill all my secrets? Worse still, what if it gets stage fright and says absolutely nothing at all?
"It's been an emotional last 12 months," says Sam, as the reading begins. "You're terrible, you. You like things just so and worry if they're not. You look like you are having a clear out and are going to move. I feel the next house you buy will have a better karma."
I am in the process of moving, so it's one point to Sam and if by "improved karma", she means we won't have another fanatical neighbour who only communicates through scrawled notes about the merits or not of cutting down overhanging branches from a tree in his garden, then I hope she's right.
"You have got a man in your life and he's lovely, very supportive," adds Sam. "He can be critical, but only because he's a perfectionist. He just wants everything settled. He needs people around him. Neither of you are having much of a social life at the moment. That won't change instantly, but by Easter you will know where you're going and I see some nice surprises.
"The next two years are very important, but you don't need to worry. Your life will be more balanced.
"I can't see you having children for about four years. I can see two girls, born quite close together, it feels really comfortable. This year you will be based in England, but after that I can see European travel."
So far, so good.
"Who's Steven?" asks Sam, but I am none the wiser. "Watch out for him. I see him in connection with your career.
"You've got a brother and I'd expect some news from him about jobs in the next four weeks. Everyone in the family wants each other to do well, but somehow when it's you they get more excited, they find it more interesting."
It also turns out that I have a friend with a dog who will feel like celebrating soon and after this Mystic Meg-style prediction, my bottom goes back to the more mundane.
"Who's Margaret?" asks Sam and I tell her it's my mother. "She needs to watch her health, nothing serious but she should start taking multi-vitamins. She's always on the go and she needs some me time, so do you, as a matter of fact."
After half-an-hour my bottom has been well and truly read and it's time to reflect. It said I had a brother, it correctly revealed I am moving house, it also claimed my boyfriend is a perfectionist, so I suppose two out of three's not bad.

A bottom reading costs £30, and lasts between 30 minutes to an hour. www.psychicsam.com or email sam.amos@talk21.com