If so, beware – because it is going to cost you substantially more than it would have just a few weeks ago.

Why? Because the EU has just slapped swingeing tariffs of up to 66 per cent on candles imported from China.

I don't remember voting for that, do you? But that is the EU all over – we have absolutely no say in how it is run but we are expected to pay through the nose for the results.

Is there anything more ridiculous than an unelected, unaccountable, overpaid bureaucrat in Brussels deciding what a shopper in Cleckheaton should pay for a candle imported from China? That is why it is my firm hope that one day the whole corrupt, wasteful, undemocratic edifice will come crashing down beneath the weight of its own absurdity.

Chinese candle manufacturers have clearly missed a trick. They should have bought a luxury yacht, moored it off Corfu and invited EU officials on board for a free holiday. Well, at least that tactic seemed to work a treat for Russian aluminium baron Oleg Deripaska.

The EU is a protectionist cartel that is implacably hostile to the principles of free trade.

Probably the worst – positively wicked – aspect of this is the Common Agricultural Policy (CAP) that deliberately impoverishes people in the Third World in order to featherbed rich French farmers.

You may recall that three years ago, in one of his last meaningful actions as Prime Minister, Tony Blair gave up Britain's £7bn rebate – hard won by Lady Thatcher – in return for a solemn promise of a fundamental reform of the CAP.

What happened? Our European "partners" promptly trousered the cash and then reneged on their part of the bargain. As a result, the CAP today is as bloated and corrupt as ever – and Britain is £7bn poorer.

The EU's protectionist policies amount to a huge tax on ordinary families. Every time you buy some baby clothes or a pair of school shoes, you pay an extra levy to subsidise inefficient and uncompetitive manufacturers in mainland Europe.

The danger is that the EU's protectionism could spark a global trade war that would make today's economic downturn look mild in comparison.

Already the EU is talking about imposing tariffs of up 40 per cent on imported Chinese steel.

That is why anyone who cares about justice and poverty in the Third World, or about democratic accountability here at home, or about the benefits of free trade and economic growth, should work and pray every day for the EU's rapid demise.

Profit and loss

My mortgage deal runs out in a couple of months' time, so I called at the bank to see what they could offer.

After the mortgage adviser had run through the options available, I asked him if these deals were only available to current customers.

"Oh no, anyone can walk in off the street and apply for one of these," he said.

"So the fact that I've been a customer for well over 10 years and I've never missed a payment counts for nothing then?"

"I'm afraid not," he answered.

Back home, it took me about 30 minutes' research on the internet to find three deals substantially cheaper than the best he could offer.

That's how the free market works, but this episode did prompt me to ask the question: is it any wonder our banks are in such a mess?

Perhaps if they valued customer loyalty even the slightest bit and looked after regular, reliable payers, they wouldn't be saddled with the toxic debts that have brought the entire sector to its knees.

Banks actually looking after customers – now there's a novel thought.