Britain is such an overwhelmingly tolerant nation – certainly compared with our European neighbours – that they have to work ever harder to find examples of racism to complain about.

They have to convince us that this is a serious and growing problem, despite evidence of harmonious community relations all around us, and that lots of taxpayers' money has to be spent to sort
it out.

The stakes are high. On this desperately shaky premise ride countless cushy jobs, research grants, expense-account lunches and conferences in luxury hotels.

This week, for example, the National Children's Bureau, funded by £12m of your taxes every year, uncovered a previously unknown reservoir of hatred and racist bigotry – among pre-school-age children.

The evidence for this absurd suggestion? Well, explained the NCB, if you put a plate of unfamiliar, spicy food in front of a three-year-old and the response is "Yuk!" that is clearly racism and the toddler-bigot responsible should be singled out and condemned in forthright terms.

If you try to defend the poor child, it simply demonstrates that you are a racist, too, according to the NCB.

The NCB has produced a 366-page guide, Young Children and Racial Justice, which urges nursery school teachers and childminders to be zealous in cracking down on the mini-racists.

Every "racist incident" – a definition that, as we've seen, is so broad as to mean virtually anything – must be logged and reported and the children responsible reprimanded.

Even babies don't escape the attentions of the gauleiters of the race relations Gestapo. They can be racist, too, because they can "recognise different people in their lives", says the NCB. So, if a baby fails to recognise an unfamiliar face, that is because he or she is a racist.

Nurseries are encouraged to report as many "racist incidents" as possible. "Some people think that if a large number of racist incidents are reported, this will reflect badly on the institution. In fact, the opposite is the case," says the NCB.

You can see where this is going, can't you? Nurseries reporting high levels of "racist incidents" will earn brownie points – and, no doubt, funding – from local councils, while those which fail to report any will be accused of racism themselves.

What next? Are we going to drag bewildered toddlers off to state
re-education camps to be force-fed chicken tikka masala?

I can think of few acts more despicable than state-sanctioned bullying of innocent youngsters just to justify a few meaningless jobs in the race relations lobby.

Wouldn't if be better if the National Children's Bureau – and the rest of the race racket – was dismantled and the money used to improve the education of all pupils, regardless of race?



Food intolerance

One thing we're not short of in Britain is people telling us what to do.

We're told what to eat, what to drink, what light bulbs to use, what to read to our children, what temperature to have our bathwater, where to shop, what to put in our compost bin and where to go on holiday.

The finger-wagging never ceases.

So when Gordon Brown popped up the other day to tell us to eat our leftovers, I would have thrown my dinner at the television – but I'd eaten it all.

Like most working families we can't afford to waste food – thanks to Brown relentlessly ratcheting up taxes.

Hasn't he got anything better to do? For example, running the country, although, truth be told, he's making a hash of that.

The Prime Minister then left for the G8 summit where he dined at numerous sumptuous banquets.

If he dares show his face around my way, I can think of a very good use for some rotten tomatoes.