"It's a pleasure to be here in Shrewsbury," I told my audience. "It's Shrowsberry!" chorused the audience.

"Thank you for that," I said and continued. "I shall be considering in my talk one or two of Shakespeare's plays, including The Taming of the Shrow."

How foreigners cope with some of our English place names, I have no idea. Well, I do actually – many of then don't.

I was walking through Harrogate one day at a time when I worked in that beautiful spa town and was approached by an American tourist.

"Excuse me, sir," he said, "could you possibly tell me where Wet Herbie is, please?" "I've never heard of him," I said, thinking this may be the lead singer in the latest chart-topping pop group.

"No," he said, "the town near to here called Wet Herbie." It then dawned upon me that he was referring to Wetherby. My brother, who lives in Galway, overheard a conversation in The Keys Inn in that magnificent city, between two American tourists who were poring over a small guidebook. "Do you think we'll see any of these Lepreecians?" asked one. I guess he meant leprechauns. In my time I have been approached by our Atlantic cousins asking for directions to Logborrohuff (Loughborough), Stratford Youponovon (Stratford-Upon-Avon) and Flaming Go Land (Flamingoland). President Bush is often held up to ridicule for his misuse of language. The latest laugh at his expense has been the discovery that he has a phoneticist who helps him pronounce difficult words. On the President's autocue are names like Mugabe (Mu-GAA-bee) and Harare (HaaRAAree) displayed to help him. I must say that I feel a certain sympathy with the President because there for the grace of God go many of us. Until we are told how to pronounce a place name, we have to make a stab at it and when we get it wrong we are barracked by people in the know who make us feel something of an idiot. I was speaking at the village hall in Chopgate and raised a laugh.

"We say Chopyat up 'ere, love," I was told by a woman on the front row. So let's show a little tolerance to those of us who get it wrong. I mean how many people, unless they have heard a local pronounce it, would be able to get right first time such towns and villages as Leominster, Bicester, Bacup, Lewes, Towcester, Rawstonstall, Towton, Todwick, Warwick, Alnwick, Bohuntine and Blenheim? How many, I wonder, would guess that Mousehole in Cornwall is pronounced Muzzle, Mytholmroyd is pronounced Mythemroyd, Slaithwaite is pronounced Slowitt or sometimes Slathwaite? In "Shrowsberry" the vote
of thanks was given by a Mrs Cholmondley
who informed me that the name was
pronounced Chumley.

Now there's another thing – the way people pronounce their names – Sidebottom, Onions, Cockburn, Denziel...

Gervase Phinn is performing a charity stage show with Steve Smith at St Paul's Hall, Huddersfield today and at the Memorial Hall, Sheffield on December 4. www.gervase-phinn.com