Ten years ago, the fairytale royal wedding of the 1980s ended in divorce and now increasing numbers of forty somethings are following suit. Sarah Freeman reports.
The marriage had been over long before anyone dared mention divorce.
But when on August 28, 1996 the decree absolute arrived it drew a line under a relationship which had begun some 16 years earlier when Prince Charles announced he was to marry Lady
Diana Spencer and the then kindergarten assistant coyly flashed a sapphire engagement ring.
The subsequent wedding caused a rash of street parties to break out across the country, but it wasn't long before the cracks began to show and with the pressure of royal duties and rumours of affairs on both sides, few were surprised when the couple split.
When the paperwork was finalised, Charles was 46. He quickly found a new life and then a new wife and while the heir to the throne can hardly be described as a trendsetter, increasing numbers of men and women his age are refusing to stay together for the sake of the children and are instead filing for divorce.
In a hearing which lasted 70 seconds, Gary Lineker and his now ex-wife Michelle yesterday became the latest high-profile fortysomethings to go their separate ways.
To outsiders, the childhood sweethearts seemed to have one of the strongest marriages in the public eye, but the former beauty therapist moved out of the family mansion earlier this year and was granted a divorce on the grounds of what she had described as her husband's "unreasonable behaviour".
It's a familiar story to Alison Straw, head of the family team with the Leeds branch of law firm Irwin Mitchell who says the number of divorce cases her department handles involving people in their late 40s and 50s has risen by 25 per cent in the last year alone and the trend shows no sign of slowing.
"The highest divorce rates have traditionally been among those who married young – like Princess Diana, who was wed at 20 – and people whose unions have not been formalised for long," says Alison. "But we're now seeing a rise in divorces involving older people and it's a tendency which has only begun to emerge in recent years."
While it's easy to blame the rise on men succumbing to the mid-life crisis, satisfying their fear of waving goodbye to their youth with not just an expensive sports car and a short-lived affair with their secretary, but with the ultimate clean break, the stories behind the figures suggest it's something rather more complex.
"Traditionally, when people got to a certain age, if they were unhappy with their marriage, they would grin and bear it and stick together," says Alison.
"Increasingly what is happening now is that they realise that they don't have to be in a destructive and unloving relationship. Now few consider being 50 or 60 as old and people who would have previously put up with a marriage they knew wasn't working are now taking the opportunity to have a second chance.
"Longer working hours and more individual lifestyles are also contributors, as is the fact people are now generally living longer than they were 10 years ago. Those unhappily married in their 50s, for example, are conscious they could easily face another 30 or 40 years with their spouse, unless they act."
Women wanting to fly the marital nest are also contributing to the rise and while once they may have been fearful of going through a painful and acrimonious divorce only to end up with nothing, recent court cases together with social changes mean that is increasingly unlikely.
Julia McFarlane, 46, was told by the House of Lords in May she was entitled to £250,000 a year for life from her former husband Ken, a tax partner with accountants Deloitte, earning £750,000 a year and the Court of Appeal awarded Karen Parlour, ex-wife of footballer Ray, maintenance amounting to more than a third of his future income.
"More women today are financially independent than in previous decades and therefore have fewer fears about going it alone," says Alison.
"They are also more vocal and more self-assured and that combined with the fact that divorce is more socially acceptable means they feel more confident about going it alone."
The figures from Irwin Mitchell are supported by data published by the Office for National Statistics which shows that while the divorces are at the highest level since 1996, it is only the over-35s age-group which is rising.
In the past 10 years, the percentage of couples who split up after more than 30 years of marriage has also doubled and the number of dissolutions involving males in their 50s has increased from 16,700 a decade ago to 24,700 in the latest figures.
However, while divorce seems to be in fashion, whether you are 44 or 24 the process of splitting up, of dividing assets and deciding who has custody of any children is never easy.
"The people I see are often traumatised," says Alison. "For the vast majority filing for divorce is not an easy get out clause, but a last resort and a decision which has been reached only after much agonising.
"Aside from the emotional distress, they also have to begin thinking about the practical side of divorce and that can be more pronounced when older spouses call it a day, as there is a greater tendency for them to have assets, as well as complex and intertwined lives.
"Rates of home ownership, for instance, are highest among the 45 to 59 age group, at nearly 80 per cent, compared with 20 per cent among the under-25s. As the home is likely to be the most valuable asset a couple owns, it's more likely property questions will have to be addressed when older people separate, and these often cause problems. However, the trend for older couples to divorce is undoubtedly the most dynamic shift we've noticed in our caseload in recent months and all the evidence suggests this tendency will continue."
sarah.freeman@ypn.co.uk
PARTINGS OF THE WAYS
Gary and Michelle Lineker
The couple were married in Leicestershire in 1986 and went on to have four children. However, earlier this year it became clear the marriage was on the rocks when Michelle moved out of their £2m mansion in Berkshire. She has since returned and although the couple are no longer living as husband and wife, a spokesman has insisted that they have simply "grown apart" and no one else was involved.
Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger
One of the most acrimonious of all celebrity divorces with the couple routinely trading personal insults in the ongoing custody battle of their daughter Ireland. Basinger was 47 when her divorce from Baldwin, four years her junior, was finalised, but the wranglings didn't end there with the actor claiming his ex-wife had a "pathological need" to turn their daughter against him and Basinger giving as good as she got.
Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan
Actor Dennis Quaid filed for divorce in 2000 at the age of 46 just two weeks after announcing his separation from wife Meg Ryan. The actor cited irreconcilable differences as grounds for bringing a conclusion to the couple's nine-year marriage, but a statement described the break-up as "mutual and amicable".
Don Johnson and Melanie GRIffith
Married briefly in 1977, the couple divorced for a second time in 1996. With Johnson making his name in Miami Vice, he and Griffith had been something of a golden couple. They parted after a turbulent seven years of marriage which had seen the actress in and out of therapy and having a much-publicised affair with her present husband Antonio Banderas.