While you feel the odd pang when looking at the empty chair at the table, and may even miss their mess, they'll be getting on with study, a hectic social life and getting themselves up in the morning without your help. But where they will still need your help is with money.

A rather depressing new study says that many cash-strapped parents are dreading rather than dreaming of their children going into higher education.

The spiralling cost of living means 20 per cent of parents surveyed by Norwich Union said they have been forced to dip into savings they had previously put aside towards their children's education. Pensions, credit cards and overdrafts are also being plundered to finance today's students, to the detriment of parents' own future financial security.

More than a quarter of parents questioned said they feared the impact of their children's higher education on their own lifestyle, and a third were anxious at the prospect of both their children and themselves being saddled with debt. About 11 per cent said they could only afford to help one of their children through university.

Almost half of parents said they would encourage their sons and daughters to stay at home during their studies to save expense, while a quarter were urging offspring towards part-time study. Almost 20 per cent of teenagers plan to defer university places so they can work for a year and save money.

Mike and Liz have two sons at university. Edward, 21, is starting his fourth year of medical school and Will, 19, is entering his second year of an English degree. Both went to a state school, and while they were there their parents were able to put any spare cash into a pension fund for themselves.

"University is a different kettle of fish, though," says Mike. "Even with student loans, we're having to support them and it's a serious strain on our finances. We really want to continue paying into our pension scheme to avoid financial problems in the future, but we've had to suspend contributions.

"Our finances are looking more uncertain now, but the last thing we want to happen is that the boys get into debt and it affects their studies. We're going on cheaper holidays and not replacing our cars."

Danni and her husband Joe have four children aged 18, 16, 15 and 12. Both parents are senior social workers, and their joint income is above the threshold for a higher education maintenance grant or help with tuition fees.

"We don't by any means have a lavish lifestyle," says Danni. "We budget household spending very carefully, and go on one family holiday a year, which is usually camping. Joe and I go out maybe once a fortnight, the older children buy clothes from money they earn, and we still find that we have to spend every penny
we earn.

"Our eldest son Tim goes to university in Birmingham next month, and we are really not in a position to help him financially, although we don't qualify to get grants or bursaries. There are not a lot of corners we can cut, expenditure-wise, to help him with more than £3,000 annual tuition fees, accommodation costs of another £3,700, plus day-to-day living and books.

"We can't bear the thought of him leaving after three years with at least £20,000 debt, but the only way we can possibly help him would be with a few thousand pounds from a small savings account which we hoped would stay untouched until the children needed help with house deposits or even a wedding.

"If we help Tim through uni, we would have to help the others, too. The savings will therefore be gone in a few years, and they will still have had to take on debt. Finances will definitely affect choices the younger children make, and they will almost certainly have to steer clear of longer degree courses."

A quarter of parents say they will be able to contribute less than £100 a month towards their children's student years. For others, helping to finance higher education at all will mean depletion of either their pension or savings put aside for other purposes.

Others, like Jane and Michael, have opted to help their children by either remortgaging or extending their mortgage a few years beyond the date at which they would have paid it off.

"We're just in normal jobs, and are finding things really tight, says Mike.

"We've always had to shell out lumps of savings to meet crises with our old house, so the only way of helping with higher education costs was to get our lender to agree to lengthen the mortgage. It's a pity, because we were within four years of paying it off, and will now have to change our plans and work longer than we'd hoped to."

Independent financial adviser Kevin Anderson, of Harrogate-based Budge and Co, says he and colleagues are seeing a rise in the number of parents who are now reaching 50 and taking out their 25 per cent cash entitlement from their pension fund in order either to finance their children's fees, living costs and accommodation during higher education or to pay-off accumulated debts with a lump sum when they finish university.

"We're getting a lot of inquiries like this from parents. We try to dissuade them, but for some it's the only option. What it means in the long-run is that they will have 25 per cent less to live on when they are older, and we are living progressively longer so that's quite a problem.

"The knock-on for many people is that they are looking at working for longer than they had wanted to, certainly until 65 and possibly beyond."

For those who can afford it, a sensible plan would be to start saving £100 per child per month in a high-interest savings account, starting when the children are still small. ISAs are also a good option, with a husband wife each able to put away anything up to £3,600 a year.

"But you can only do what you can do," says Mr Anderson. "It's better to save something than nothing, paying in whatever you can afford to."

Parents instinctively have an impulse to make sacrifices for their children, says Kate Jopling of Help the Aged. "We're already seeing pensions being devalued by the marketplace, and if people feel they must use money they'd put into a pension to help their children's education, then more people will be reliant on the state pension in the end.

"It's all part of a wider picture of people having to provide not only for themselves but for others in the family for a much longer time than they used to. Longer-term hardship for parents wasn't one of the considerations when the Government made our current student finance policy."

THE STUDENT DEBT TRAP


Despite the widespread talk about the credit crunch, the National Union of Students says many prospective students remain unaware of the basic costs of living and lack information and guidance about managing their finances.

A survey for the NUS by HSBC found that the average cost of university life is on average almost £450 higher than students expect. The survey found that:

Students expect to spend £510 a year on groceries; they actually spend £710.

They expect to spend £580 a year on household bills and really spend £740.

They expect that travel will cost £285 a year, but actually spend £385.


THE COST OF UNIVERSITY


A survey has found that student debt now tops £4,500 for each year of study, a rise of 9.6 per cent since last year, with average individual debt at 11 institutions having broken the £20,000 barrier.

"This kind of debt is scary, and parents don't want to see their children burdened in this way, but a university education remains a good investment, with a degree adding on average £200,000 to a person's potential earning capacity over a lifetime," says Johnny Rich of www.push.co.uk, who commissioned the survey.