Helping children come to terms with the sad realities of family life
"When my mum suffered pulmonary hypertension and a stroke I was shocked when I saw her in hospital. It was really scary even for an adult. She looked very different, she couldn't walk or talk," says Diane Whitely.
"But then I thought, 'what must the younger members of our family be thinking?' No-one ever explained to them what was happening. Then I saw the fear in the eyes of my 11-year-old grandnephew, Liam, and realised what he must be thinking."
When her mother, Hilda, died four weeks later from the rare lung condition, Diane decided she wanted to write a children's book, examining the illness in a compassionate and humourous way and dedicated to her mum's memory.
A talented television scriptwriter and producer, Diane was no stranger to writing for children, but she had never written a book.
When it comes to understanding how children tick, the book's author has proved her worth as a scriptwriter and producer on award winning programmes like Children's Ward, Grange Hill, Big Meg, Little Meg and The New Worst Witch.
She teamed up with her niece and Hilda's granddaughter, Jo Allsopp – a professional artist and illustrator to create My Nana is an Alien.
Set in her home town of Todmorden, the book is told through the eyes of nine-year-old Liam whose Nana is rushed into hospital.
He is not only very worried, but also convinced that something sinister is going on. Why is his Nana speaking a strange language? Has his Nana been captured by aliens? Are Todmorden and Hebden Bridge "alien capitals of the world"? Is his mum involved in a cover-up?
And as he is given minimal information "for his own good" he draws his own, imaginative conclusion about what has happened to his Nana.
"It's a kid's book that every adult should read as it gives us a child's eye view on this often bewildering world," says Diane.
"Children have a right to know what is happening, but it is how you give them that information that is important, and I hope I have achieved this with this book."
All proceeds from the book will be donated to the Sheffield-based Pulmonary Hypertension Association UK (PHA-UK).
Iain Armstrong PH nurse consultant at the Royal Hallamshire Hospital and chairman of PHA-UK, said: "Pulmonary hypertension is a serious life-threatening progressive condition affecting both the lungs
and the heart. Although treatable, like many serious illnesses the emotional ripple effect spreads throughout the family and many patients wonder how much to tell the children involved."
How to give youngsters difficult news
Philip Hodson, a Fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, offers this advice: "A parent's approach depends partly on the situation and partly on the child, but it needs careful consideration.
"If there is a risk to the life of the close relative, you probably do need to tell the child. If you don't tell or pretend all is well, you'll communicate your own anxiety instead and you'll teach the child to have a fear of sadness, sorrow and reality.
"You don't want to burden the child with unnecessary information or become too alarmed by what you have to tell them, but use age-appropriate language. What you tell them has to be enough to account for the changes that the illness will cause to the child's own routine. So, if Nana is going to be away suddenly for a number of days or weeks, is going to look ill or maybe die, then you've got to start an age-appropriate dialogue.
"Your manner and tone are extremely important. The key is to be reassuringly calm, and that calmness comes not so much from what you say, but the way that you say it. Pick a time that will allow the child the chance to ask questions and try to lead into breaking the bad news. Perhaps start with, "I've got some important things I need to tell you. So let's settle down.
To tell or not to tell?
A nationwide poll commissioned by PHA-UK, asked adults in Yorkshire and the Humber what they would do if they were faced with the dilemma of being the parent of a child whose close relative had been diagnosed with a life-threatening condition which required intensive treatment:
16 per cent of people polled would only tell children a version of the truth when it became absolutely necessary.
37 per cent of those polled would only tell children what they felt they needed to know.
34 per cent stated they'd give the children as much information as possible.
Six per cent would not tell the children of the relative's condition.
Three per cent wouldn't know how to tell the children about the relative's condition.
My Nana Is An Alien is available at 6.50 plus 1 post & packaging via the PHA-UK website www.pha-uk.com or by calling 0844 445 7245 (calls charged at 5p per min).
Email to a friend
Print this page- Video: Deadline Day Live (the final hours)
- Leeds United close in on late transfer window signing
- Gary Speed sent suicide text to wife - but coroner says he may have ‘nodded off’ with noose around neck
- Have your say: Who should succeed Simon Grayson at Leeds United?
- Grayson sheds a tear over Leeds departure: First reaction to sacking
- Gingrich tipped for Florida battering
- £50bn ‘Boris Island’ airport plans step closer
- Tributes to father as Children in Need comedy act turns to tragedy
- Doncaster Rovers 0 Cardiff City 0: Rovers are united in common survival cause, says Coppinger
- Leeds refuse to be rushed into naming Grayson replacement
Looking for...
Featured advertisers
Jobs
Search for a job
Motors
Search for a car
Property
Search for a house
Weather for Yorkshire
Saturday 04 February 2012
Today
Heavy snow
Temperature: -2 C to 2 C
Wind Speed: 20 mph
Wind direction: South
Tomorrow
Sunny spells
Temperature: 1 C to 5 C
Wind Speed: 9 mph
Wind direction: West
