The horrific scenario has been painted by a Cockney who has spent the last 23 years in Yorkshire and now fears the region has become part of "Engbland" – and is losing its distinctiveness.
Andy Green's scary vision has been backed up by a Yorkshire historian who says dialect is dying and traditional grub is disappearing in favour of tortilla and tapas.
Mr Green has helped put together an exhibition with the provocative but deadly serious question: Does Yorkshire exist? It uses words like "Ameribland" and says the Yorkshire accent is being replaced by "Mockney", or Estuary English.
Exhibition organisers at the Wakefield Media and Creativity Centre are appealing to the public for examples of what makes Yorkshire different – and what we have lost.
Mr Green, born in Poplar, East London, but now of Wakefield, has come up with a list that suggests a march towards "blandness". Old pubs being rebranded and re-named, and there is a growing army of Manchester United fans across the region.
Mr Green said: "The idea of an exhibition called Does Yorkshire Exist? is not flippant, but a genuine investigation, debate and discussion on what is Yorkshire."
Traits we have not lost are our "independent streak" and a lack of "two-facedness", he believes.
He added: "There is a real danger of progress creating a bland brush where everywhere looks and feels the same. Should people be indifferent to this and is there scope to do anything about it? We want people's views and comments."
Mr Green, a director at the media centre, wants to collect new material from Yorkshire Post readers on the unique characteristics of Yorkshire – bland or otherwise – to measure change and help protect our heritage.
One of the questions asked is whether Yorkshire is little more than an "emotional identity".
The exhibition says: "The novelist Kurt Vonnegut coined the name 'Granfalloons' meaning 'proud and meaningless associations of human beings'. It describes a minimum group paradigm, where individuals are formed into groups on the most trivial and inconsequential criteria imaginable. Is 'Yorkshire' little more than an emotional statement, binding together people born in a certain area, to boost their self esteem?
"Or is it 'God's Own County' – which brought the rest of the world Captain Cook, William Wilberforce, Caedmon the earliest known English poet, the Abbess Hilda, who was responsible for setting the date of Easter?"
Yorkshire, it suggests, may be "little more than a part of a cultural continuum of Engbland – a country where progress is marked by imposing a bland blanket of uniformity, where multinationals impose their logos, fast food and fast culture.
The fear that Yorkshire's identity could slip away is shared by Dr Arnold Kellett, a historian and expert in Yorkshire dialect, who says proper dialect is dying.
Dr Kellett said:"You hear the accent, but dialect and its rich vocabulary and idioms is being replaced by local speech. Dialect survives but you have to look for it among the elderly of the West Riding and country folk."
He added: "We have got to work to retain our distinctive character – this is true of all other regions."
Dr Kellett is equally worried about the demise of traditional Yorkshire food, including such delights as Yorkshire relish, plot toffee, simnel cake and curd tart.
"The trouble is that home baking is not what it was. That's why traditional recipes are disappearing."
But the chairman of the Yorkshire Society, businessman Keith Madeley, does not believe we have anything to worry about – he has overseen a big rise in society membership, including ex-patriates.
Mr Madeley said: "With all the different firms and individuals joining, I really feel there is a great future in Yorkshire. We have got to hang onto our traditions and I think we are doing so."
The exhibition, which ends on September 10, will be put on again next year and will feature on a new website. It is being staged to stimulate debate around plans for a regional assembly.
Contributions can be sent to Wakefield Media and Creativity Centre, 19 King Street, Wakefield, WF1 2SQ, or email: contact@wakefieldmediacentre.com