Rio Ferdinand - Former football star on coping with his wife's death

During a glittering football career Rio Ferdinand won trophies galore, including six Premier League titles and the much-coveted Uefa Champions League.

He also played 81 times for England fulfilling a personal dream along the way by captaining his country.

However, the former Leeds United star’s world was turned upside down when he lost his 34-year-old wife Rebecca to breast cancer in May 2015.

Together they had three children, now aged 10, eight and five, and in a BBC One documentary, Rio Ferdinand: Being Mum And Dad, being screened tomorrow night, the former footballer opens up about his grief.

The deeply moving film shows Ferdinand trying to come to terms with his loss and its effects on him and his children.

It also follows him as he meets other families coping with bereavement and looks at what help is available for parents and children who have experienced such a devastating loss.

He says he decided to make the film for his children. “At the beginning, I was distraught. I didn’t really want to talk to anybody, I kept looking at my kids and thinking, ‘How do I get everything across to them? How do I make it easier for them? How do I make sure that they can have a normal life going forward?’

“But funnily enough, going through this process, making the documentary, has changed me a little bit - meeting various people and getting a better understanding of how to approach things.”

However, there were some difficult days in the wake of Rebecca’s death. “I always used to take the kids to school if I was there, but I would wake up 10 minutes before we had to go so they were already bathed, showered and fed and I would just put them in the car.

“The first time they went back to school, which was probably about three or four days later, I woke up in the morning and I was scrambling around the house. They were late because I was having a panic attack, and then I’ve got one of them in the car going, ‘Mum wouldn’t do this...’ You just don’t know what to do.”

To begin with he found it hard to cope and he drank to numb the pain. “But I started thinking, ‘I need to do something; I can’t keep doing this, because it would be a car crash’. I’m just lucky I had my kids, if I’m honest.”

Having a network of friends and family helped and so, too, did speaking to other widowers. “I found out, especially when I met other fathers and husbands who’ve been through the same thing, that there’s no real timeline. I was sat there and one of the guys went, ‘Who still wears their wedding ring?’ And I was the only one who put my hand up.

“I was laughing in embarrassment, thinking, ‘What’s the catch here?’ They were like, ‘We felt if we wanted to move on, we needed to take that off’, and I was like, ‘There’s no way I’m taking mine off’, but it’s just different. It could be a week later that you feel ready and capable to move on in particular areas in your life or it could be a year, it could be two years, or maybe longer.”

For Rio, grieving is an ongoing process. “There’s so many layers to it that you’ve just got to keep trying to improve. I’ve got three kids: my little girl is really innocent and just says freely what she wants; my middle one is very boisterous, but emotional and really touchy-feely; and my older one is a little bit like myself, he’s not as touchy-feely and he’s a bit more of a closed book.

“It’s trying to plug into them in different ways to make sure they have the best upbringing possible - emotionally. [But] we’re alright; they’re doing all the activities that God sends - I’m like an Uber driver - and they’re good, they’re really good.”

Rio Ferdinand: Being Mum And Dad, is on BBC One tomorrow at 9pm.