Former Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson claims he was told he “probably” had cancer, two days before the “fracas” with Top Gear producer Oisin Tymon, although he has since been given the all-clear.
The outspoken star also revealed he is already thinking about his next television project after becoming “obsessed” with the long-running BBC motoring series he fronted before being axed for attacking a colleague at a North Yorkshire hotel.
And he became so focused on his work following the break-up of his marriage and the death of his mother that he was unable to concentrate on anything else.
Writing in his column for the Sunday Times, Clarkson said he admits there is no way back for him with Top Gear.
He said: “I have lost my baby but I shall create another.
“I don’t know who the other parent will be or what the baby will look like, but I cannot sit around any more organising my photograph album.”
The star was suspended by the broadcaster last month when he became the subject of an internal BBC investigation after he attacked Top Gear producer Mr Tymon, splitting his lip and verbally abusing him.
Clarkson’s contract was not renewed, with director-general Tony Hall saying at the time ‘’a line has been crossed’’ and ‘’there cannot be one rule for one and one rule for another’’.
But the broadcasting veteran received widespread public support, including from friend David Cameron.
Clarkson said he even considered turning his back on presenting altogether in the immediate fall-out from the incident.
He told the Sunday Times: “Let’s stop being silly and pick up the pieces and start again ... I just know I’m going to do another car show.”
Earlier this month, North Yorkshire Police said that following an investigation Clarkson would face no further police action over his attack on the producer at a hotel.
Clarkson pulled out of his planned appearance hosting BBC satirical show Have I Got News For You, which was due to be filmed next week, and aired a day later.
It would have marked his first BBC appearance since the fracas which led to his departure.