How to cope when you can't give them back...
Do you remember those days before you had children? When mealtimes were a pleasant affair, with no tantrums and no resorting to bribery?
You might not want to admit it, but not every moment with your children is a good one. Most of us gloss over the bad bits, but mums Joanna Simmons and Jay Curtis have now broken the mould of the contented parent.
After years of holier-than-thou parenting guides, they were inspired to write a warts-and-all A to Z of real parenting, Can I Give Them Back Now?
It's a wry, humorous look at parenting that's undoubtedly much blacker than the rosy picture of child-rearing painted in numerous parenting tomes. But for many parents, the book sums up what is often the harsh reality of having kids.
"We intended it to be as candid as possible and blow the whole thing open a bit," says Joanna. "We wanted to show that this is how it is and there's nothing wrong with it."
However, that's not to say that Joanna and Jay, both 38, are portraying parenting as completely unrewarding.
"I hope it comes through that we're dotty about our kids and we love them to bits," says Joanna, a mother of two boys aged three
and six.
"You can admit that and you can also admit that there are days when you don't enjoy it. It's not always easy to be honest when you're not enjoying parenting – you're supposed to put this face on to the world that you're enjoying it and you're being fulfilled.
"But with some friends I could really be candid, and I felt there was a great sense of humour emerging – a sort of trench humour that helps you cope with the day-to-day rubbish you have to deal with."
One of the friends she could be honest with was Jay, who has a five-year-old son, and between them they hatched the idea for the book.
Joanna insists there's no brow-beating in the book.
It addresses flexible working by simply saying: "Employers are very keen on the working bit, not so much on the flexible bit. In reality, it's the chance to do five days work in four days, for four days' pay."
Instead of working, busy mums can enjoy going to the supermarket alone, as a treat, says Joanna. She ruefully points out that it's "surprising and rather sad" that women who once chaired board meetings and managed staff become mothers and, "unused to solitude or personal space, unable to command their time, they find a trip to Asda is the best life has to offer".
But don't despair, the book is not all parenting doom and gloom. "There are some magical moments, it's just that we never expected
them to be."
Can I Give Them Back Now? is published by Square Peg, priced 9.99. To order a copy from the Yorkshire Post Bookshop, call free on 0800 0153232 or go to www.yorks
hirepostbookshop.co.uk. Postage and packing is 2.75.
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Weather for Yorkshire
Saturday 26 May 2012
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