They are the sort of policies that were once the staple fare of Liberal Democrat conferences: bringing back dog licences, saving public toilets and giving pensioners a discount in legalised brothels.
But activists are arriving for the party’s spring gathering in York on the back of an embarrassing election defeat to a satirist dressed as Elvis Presley offering exactly that manifesto.
David Laurence Bishop of the Bus-Pass Elvis Party secured a total of 67 votes in a city council by-election in Clifton, Nottingham, putting him a distant fourth behind Labour, the Tories and Ukip.
That was 20 per cent more than local voters gave Lib Dem hopeful Tony Marshall, who trailed home last with a paltry 56 in the seat, which was retained by Labour with 1,179.
Political opponents were quick to take to social media to mock the coalition party’s poor showing – many turning to Elvis Presley hits to suggest Nick Clegg was “All Shook Up”, others urging “Don’t Be Cruel”.