He can’t talk about the economy, because of how great we are; he can’t talk about unemployment, because we made all the jobs and he can’t talk about the deficit because of that speech where he forgot it but I didn’t.
Yes, familiar reader, we reach the fourth question of David Cameron’s PMQs. Not so much answers by this point as much as a list of things he likes saying. Frequently.
And why shouldn’t he? Ed Miliband had a disastrous outing. There was some question about wages or perhaps it was low incomes, or maybe a report about low income or wages?
Who knows? Certainly not his back benchers, who spent the time perfecting their poker faces.
Mr Miliband, however, does not have a poker face. He has instead a very reactive face, such as the one he pulls when the PM says it is the Labour leader dodging TV debates.
The sort of over reactive scrunched up face which, if any parent where to see it, would surely prompt an involuntary “act your age” telling off.
Even Ed Balls was quiet, which must be the effect of having the Chancellor, his muse, out of sight.
Not to fear. Mr Cameron made enough noise for us all, along with a Tory party which increasingly thinks it’s seen the best of Labour.
Bored of Labour’s failed “cost of living that isn’t any different to a year or two ago crisis” the back bencher in its natural habitat will look for other targets.
Step forward Mark Reckless, the Ukiper even Ukip seems to hate. Boos, groans and various throat clearing noises throughout his speech, even after a prompting from the speaker that “we’ll be here as long as it takes”, the sort of teacher like statement that only serves to encourage this lot.
Worry not, Miliband fans, he does at least tend to bounce back quickly after these failings.