COMEDIAN George Valentine is still telling gags at 76 - and has claimed the world record for most one-liners in a minute.
Mr Valentine rattled off 62 rib-ticklers - less than one a second - to take the unofficial title for quick-fire funnies.
The Scottish writer, now living in Rotherham, has penned more 110,000 one-liners since he came up with his first joke at the age of 12.
He also claims to have written the world’s shortest joke: “obesity cures wrinkles”.
Though never a full time writer, he has sold jokes to Bob Monkhouse, Tommy Cooper and Les Dawson.
He said: “I just did it for a hobby, it wasn’t full time but then you would see them do them on the telly. It was amazing.”
Mr Valentine has now attracted more than 215,000 followers on Twitter with his witticisms.
His record breaking list includes these rib-ticklers...
COFFEE’S FOR MUGS
I CAN’T STOMACH TRIPE
DEATH IS HEREDITARY
TAKE MY WIFE - PLEASE
JABS NEEDLE ME
OBESITY CURES WRINKLES
WELDERS SOLDER ON
WATER SPRINGS ETERNAL
MR SHEEN IS POLISH
STAMP OUT PHILATELY
FOG ISN’T MIST
EGRETS, I HAVE A FEW
SURE CURES B.O