When you meet Clive Gott it is hard to imagine this huge hulk of a man sitting in a corner crying like a baby.

The 6ft 3ins former firefighter turned motivational speaker with a Cheshire cat grin and the gift of the gab, is a larger-than-life figure in the true sense of the word and exudes confidence.

He has taken on many physical challenges including the Marathon Des Sables – reputedly the hardest foot race in the world; climbing Aconcagua in the Andes which at 6,962 metres is the highest peak in the world outside of the Himalayas; completing four full Ironman triathlons, the fastest in just nine hours and thirty six minutes.

But his toughest challenge has not been a physical one; it has been a mental battle with depression, something he never believed would happen to him.

On June 27 last year he had a breakdown."I tried to get out of bed and failed miserably. My head lifted from the pillow but the rest of me just stayed put and nothing I could do was going to change that.

"I could move everything perfectly well; I just couldn't get out of bed. So I reached for the phone next to the bed and called my doctor, who agreed to see me at 11.15 that morning, but I had to go to them, they wouldn't come out to me."

What followed over the next few hours shook Clive to the core and challenged every ounce of self-belief he had.

"When the doctor asked me what the problem was I replied in the only way I could. I said 'honestly doctor… I don't know'. So she asked me another question. She said 'well, tell me what you are thinking' and, for the umpteenth time over the last two years or so, I burst into tears.

"What I said even shocked me. I can recall my answer almost word for word. I said 'my third marriage has come to an end, my business has gone quiet, I am so very tired and three months ago I climbed a mountain in Argentina. Three hundred and fifty metres from the summit a 51-year-old British guy died… and right now I envy him'."
The doctor told him that he was suffering from physical exhaustion and chemical depression.

"I have always maintained that depression is a decision, and when I couldn't get out of bed that morning, that certainly wasn't my decision.

"My doctor very gently told me that this would be my first challenge. I had to admit to myself that I was ill. I also had to accept that for the first time I can recall my recovery was not going to happen by setting a goal to be back on my feet by the end of the month. My recovery was for the most part out of my hands. That was indeed my first lesson."

Although June 27 took Clive by surprise, looking back, he realises that the warning signs were there, but he chose to ignore them, to adopt a stiff upper lip approach and just get on with it.

"I now believe my breakdown was a breakthrough," he says candidly.

"I had to get to the lowest point in order to move forward.

"For years I had been bottling up the emotion, setting myself tougher and tougher goals, which was just masking the problem."
Clive's second lesson was to accept responsibility for what had happened to him; once he did that, he believed that he was back in control.

"It wasn't my fault," he stresses, "but it was my responsibility, no-one else's."

Over the months that followed, with the close support network of a few close friends, Clive started to rebuild his confidence and self-esteem.

"I set myself goals, but they were very small ones, like get up, get dressed, iron a shirt. I would take a day 60 minutes at a time."
For a man scrupulous about cleanliness and detail, not changing the sheets on his bed every week was unimaginable, but his depression was such he had no energy to get out of bed.

"I created a support system for myself. I asked a small number of friends who I could trust if I could phone them if I needed to. I knew then that there was always someone I could talk to and that I wasn't alone."

Clive, 51, from Tadcaster, now speaks openly about his depression, using his motivational speaking skills and business to help others.

He has joined forces with Elaine Hanzak, featured in Life&Style last month. Elaine suffered from severe post-natal depression. They are now putting together workshops and Clive is writing a book about his experience.

"They are for everyone," explained Clive, "not just for people who have suffered depression. The thing is we are all vulnerable even though we may not know it.

"Twenty five per cent of people will experience depression at some time.

We want to help people recognise the signs like disturbed sleeping patterns, heightened emotions, so that they can do something about it before depression strikes."

Clive says it wasn't an easy decision to talk about his depression. Like many men he believed he was invincible.

"I send out a newsletter from my motivational speaking business and when I started to feel a bit better I decided to write it all down in a newsletter. I hadn't really thought that I would send it, as it could mean the end of my business, but in the end I pushed the send button."

Within a week Clive had received 110 emails from people congratulating him on his honesty and saying that there was a real need for someone to speak up about their experiences of mental health problems.

"I realised that I had an opportunity to stand in front of people and talk about depression and help people through it. As soon as I started talking about it, it was amazing how many people said they had experienced similar things; me talking about it gave them the opportunity to do so. If I hadn't they would have been deprived the opportunity to talk about it."

Many would think that Clive still lives life at breakneck speed, challenging himself mentally and physically. But he maintains that he now knows he has limitations and recognises when it is getting too much.

"I went on a golfing trip recently with some friends which sounds relaxing, but I got the room with the snorer and so got very little sleep.

"The old me would have powered through, convincing myself that although I was getting no sleep a golfing holiday was doing me good. After three days I got a flight home. I knew that if I didn't, by the end of the week I would be exhausted and the whole thing could start again."

For an action man like Clive, admitting you have limitations doesn't come easily, but he knows he has to be realistic to stay healthy. But there is no way this blunt Yorkshireman can put adventuring on hold forever.

"I want to do the Arctic marathon," he says. "It covers 80 miles in three days, but I have learnt my lesson, I am going to take two years to prepare for it. Once I've done that I am all adventured out."

I'll believe that when I see it.