Last Thursday we were to play the Komedia Club in Brighton. On Wednesday afternoon, about 5pm, I sent the itinerary out to the band. Ten minutes later, Mike the pianist rang to say he had never been booked to play Brighton. Stay calm – there must be a mix-up. We use two pianists, Jim Watson and Mike Gorman – surely Jim must be doing Brighton.

"Hi Jim, ooh it's a faint line where are you?"

"I'm in Johannesburg with Katie Melua",

"Stay calm," says Muddy as I start twitching. "Ring Grant".

Yes of course, Grant Windsor is doing his first gig with us the following night.

"I'm really sorry Clare – I've got a gig. It's a long shot but I'll ask the band leader if he can find a replacement."

In the meantime I start working alphabetically through a list of top piano players. It's mostly answer machines, but on the rare occasion I do speak to someone they are busy. As the evening progresses it's like watching a Yellow Pages advert. Cue worried-looking singer in kitchen stirring pan in melancholy fashion. Phone rings. It's a piano player!

"Yes it's piano playing in Brighton by JR Hartley. You're not free? Really I understand. I'm sure someone will be around."

Our drummer, Chris Dagley, who is also the resident drummer at Ronnie Scott's, rings at 9pm.

"Don't worry babe – I'll speak to someone and see what we can do."

By 11pm I'm sitting in the bath downing a mug of Stones ginger wine with a face like a slapped derrière. When Grant rings to tell me that James at Ronnie's has cancelled his own gig and booked himself on to Grant's gig, enabling Grant to get to Brighton, I don't know whether to cry or eat a biscuit – so do both. On Friday night a lady in Scarborough said she enjoyed my column but wondered if I made it up. Believe me – I wish I could!