Expert Answers: The agonies of choosing a childminder

My children are two and four, and as money is really tight for us, I've decided the time has come for me to go back to work. I asked my mum if she might be willing to have the children for a couple of days a week, but she doesn't want to. I'm going to have to find a childminder but I don't know how to go about it.

Childminders in England and Wales (although not in Scotland and Northern Ireland at the moment) have to take a minimum of a 12-hour introductory course, and a full day's paediatric first-aid training.

They also have to have public liability insurance, and are regularly inspected by Ofsted.

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Another source of help would be your local Families Information Service, who should have a list of registered providers.

There are a few things you should consider – for a start, how many children they are looking after. They are allowed to have up to six children under eight, although only three are allowed to be under five.

You may want your children to be looked after in a smaller number than that, so do talk to the childminder about how many children she

cares for.

Your eldest child will probably be starting school next year, so you should ask whether the childminder will be willing to drop off and collect, if this is going to be an issue for you.

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Remember that a childminder probably won't be able to look after your child if they are ill, so you need to think about what other arrangements you can make, or if your employer will be flexible.

Do contact the National Childminding Association of England and Wales – www.ncma.org.uk – as there is a lot of advice on their site about how to choose a childminder.

For even more peace of mind, choose someone who is one of their members too.

Five things you need to know about the National Childminding Association of England and Wales

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A childminder is someone who looks after children in their own home and who is registered to do so with Ofsted. Childminders providing care for under fives will also be delivering the Early Years Foundation Stage.

A registered childminder is inspected (and rechecked every three years) by Ofsted for references, training, a Criminal Records Bureau check and health, and their home is inspected to make sure it's a safe and suitable environment for children.

The National Childminding Association of England and Wales (NCMA) is a not-for-profit organisation and also, a professional association for those involved in home-based childcare.

Childminders who are members of the NCMA have the support of a professional association behind them which covers things such as insurance and training.

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Members of NCMA can also join an approved quality improvement network, which allows them to become accredited to deliver the free early years education for three and four-year-olds.

NCMA's website is www.ncma.org.uk. Parents, childminders and nannies can obtain comprehensive advice, and the helpline number is 0800 169 4486.

Paul Charlson

GP from Brough

Good idea, go for it! Many people exist only for their children, which does not suit everybody. You live only once, and while the care of your children is important, your own life is important, too.

You do not have to be with your children 24/7 to be a good mother. In fact, it might be better for your children and you in the long run if you are not. You are likely to be happier and this will reflect on the whole family. Your children will get used to other people, which may make separation anxiety when they go to school less of a problem.

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In regard to childminding, you need to find one who is registered. After that, a recommendation is the best way forward.

The good thing about childminders is that they are usually local and flexible and may be able to drop your children off at nursery or school.

It is always difficult to find a perfect childminder but I think you have got to try one and see. You must be prepared to change if you are unhappy.

Elaine Douglas

A chartered psychologist who specialises in family and child relationships

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Obviously your main worry is finding someone suitable to look after your children, but I also feel that you may be feeling a little guilty about going back to work – especially in the light of your mother's response.

In terms of childcare, I suggest that you have a look at the website of the National Childminders' Association, which is extremely informative.

Having said that, there will be a great variation in the personalities involved, so I do think that once you find out who is available in your area, you need to check them out personally and feel reassured that you would be comfortable placing your children in their care.

The second thing that concerns me is that you also need to feel comfortable with yourself about going back to work, but I think that once you have found someone suitable for the children, everything else will fall into place.

Cary Cooper

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Professor of Organisational Psychology and Health at Lancaster University

This is such a common problem but I think you are doing the right thing to take on a part-time job not only for financial reasons but also because you feel you need your own identity and stimulation in addition to child-rearing.

There are a plethora of childminders out there and it is important to find the right one, not only for the safety and wellbeing of your children but also to put your mind at rest while at work.

I guess my first port of call would be the local authority, to find out which ones they have on their books and have vetted. The latter is really important – when was the last time they visited the childminder, what are his/her qualifications (eg, nursery nurse qualified or ex-teacher, etc) and how long have they been doing the job (with references of former clients – which you need to check). This is not an easy process.

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My wife and I went to the local college which trained nursery nurses, and the ones we had were great.

Dr Carol Burniston

Consultant Clinical Child Psychologist

Congratulations on finding a new job. I hope it will be an exciting challenge to get back into the workplace.

Making sure that you feel confident about the child care you have chosen will help you to feel more relaxed and able to concentrate on your new position.

You have some choices to make; you can opt for nursery care or a childminder. If you opt for a nursery, your children will be cared for by a team of people and have a routine determined by the staff. The nursery will probably have better facilities than a private home.

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If you opt for a childminder, your children will have an experience more like your own home and a more relaxed routine, but the facilities will not be as varied.

If you decide on a childminder, make sure they are registered with the local authority. This way, you can be sure that they have been assessed and approved.