Expert Answers: Losing the battle in the war on weight

Dieting is so popular that in the last 10 years it's estimated that around 70 per cent of the adult female population, and 30 per cent of all adult males, have been on one.

It doesn't seem to matter whether it's the Atkins diet or liquid diets, people will try almost anything in their frantic desire to shed a

few pounds.

Unfortunately, the results are usually the same. Although diets do produce results in the short term, very few dieters maintain their weight loss, no matter which diet they try.

Worse than this, most dieters end up bigger than they were before they started dieting. So, why don't diets work?

Most diets involve a significant change in a person's normal eating habits over an extended period of time. But habits die hard; we cling to them because they fit in with our lifestyle and the people around us.

And changing something that is second nature to us very often results in stress – especially if that change is at odds with the habits of those in our social and family world.

Dieting is also hard because it relies on will power to keep us on track.

Willpower is often very strong at the start of a diet when we are desperate to change, but it can ebb and flow with the state of our health and the pressures and triggers of day-to-day life.

Dieters rarely think of rehearsing how they will manage in difficult situations such as going out to dinner with friends; they just hope their willpower will hold up and punish themselves if it doesn't.

Willpower is hard to maintain for extended periods of time, especially

if our dietary rules are too strict.

There's also the danger that when we feel like we've made some progress in our diet, we become less inclined to put ourselves through

the struggle of restricting our food.

So dieting is hard because people haven't learned the difference between willpower and commitment to long-term behaviour change.

Paul Charlson, GP from Brough

This is a common problem and requires tackling for both your health and self-esteem.

It is easy to ignore the truth but you are overweight and you need to do something about it. I understand that your BMI (body mass index) is 34.1, which puts you into the obese category. This is an issue that you should see your GP about. He can advise you on how to lose weight effectively.

Diets do work but they need to be combined with exercise and support. A change of lifestyle is the only way to maintain weight loss long term and this means eating less and more healthily and exercising more .

There are no excuses – it is willpower with support from professionals.

As for your husband and his feelings towards you, you can choose to ask him or just take action and lose the weight.

Elaine Douglas, A chartered psychologist who specialises in family and child relationships

Before you think about embarking on another diet, it might be an idea to see your GP and get checked out to see whether there are any physical reasons why this is happening.

If everything is okay and there are no, for example, glandular problems, then I would suggest that you contact a dietician.

You say that you try to eat sensibly, but if there is no medical reason for your weight gain, it could be that you need some help to work out an eating plan that will help you to lose weight slowly and consistently

Another thing that comes to mind is that in the past you may have been trying to do all of this by yourself. If we have low self-esteem then quite often it is difficult for us to talk to anyone else about what is bothering us .

You are obviously worried that your husband doesn't find you attractive any more, but that may not be the case. If you have been feeling low and upset about your weight, your mood will in some way have reflected this, and it may well be that he doesn't quite know what to do, or how to help you.

Cary Cooper, Professor of Organisational Psychology and Health at Lancaster University

Marriage is supposed to be about being able to be honest and truthful with your partner.

If you are open about your concerns, I am sure he will help and support you, and together you can find a way forward.

You could also do this on your own, by finding a dietician through your GP practice, and get some professional advice about how you can deal with this problem in a systematic and sustainable way.

Whether you engage your husband in helping you, or you decide to do it on your own, will depend on the nature of your relationship with your husband, and, of course, how supportive you think he

will be.

But by letting him know what you are feeling, he is likely to understand better other aspects of your behaviour in your relationship, which may be an direct or indirect consequence of your self-perceived image (eg, that you perceive yourself as a fat blob).

Dr Carol Burniston, Consultant Clinical Child Psychologist

This is such a common problem and there is no easy answer. You need to make a decision that you are going to do something about this and then apply lots of willpower.

Try increasing the walking in your day; take the stairs instead of the escalator, step off the bus a couple of stops earlier, walk instead of driving short distances.

Severely restricting food intake can have adverse effects on your health and can make people irritable or miserable, so examine the other side of the equation and be satisfied

with a gradual and consistent reduction in your weight.

Something like 85 per cent of dieters put the weight back on, and this is because they stop dieting when they have reached a target and revert to their former habits, allowing the weight to creep back on.

If you successfully increase your levels of exercise, be prepared to maintain this for the rest of your life and look forward to a permanent change that you can sustain.