Foster family spread their love to those most in need

It was a life-changing trip to Cambodia which inspired Michaela and Tom Swales to dedicate their lives to helpingsome of the most

vulnerablechildren in their home town of Dewsbury.

In the last four years, they have successfully fostered 11 such children, giving them a safe haven, a caring family and helping to put them back on the right path for a happier future.

"We aren't remarkable people," says Michaela, 40. "We are pretty ordinary people doing ordinary things who just want to help our kids. We love our kids and put them first."

Michaela refers to her foster children in the same way as she does her own 14 month-old birth daughter Meredith; she genuinely sees no difference.

"You wouldn't treat your siblings differently," she challenges me, "so why should I?" It is this passionate defence of her foster children which makes Michaela remarkable and the fact that she and her husband Tom gave up their jobs to help these often traumatised and broken children.

"We went on a trip to Cambodia and became quite friendly with a group of children who sold trinkets on the beach," explains Michaela. "They didn't go to school, but were selling things to pay for English lessons. We helped them to learn English and to swim and were profoundly affected by them."

On their return to Dewsbury, following this experience, they decided to have a complete career change.

Tom, who worked at HSBC, decided to retrain as a teacher. Michaela remained as a finance manager for a large communications company to support her husband while he went back to university and then gave up her job to become a full-time foster carer.

"We first became an NSPCC befriender to a young boy ina children's home who had no contact with his parents. We took him out and did pretty mundane things like taking him to the supermarket shopping; things that families normally dobut he had no experience of."

The 13-year-old had learning disabilities and the Swaleses helped him to acquire social skills and took him out until he was 16.

"I really enjoyed it, but I knew I wanted to do something more and, when I was able to give up work, decided on fostering."

In order to be eligible to foster,one person has to be at home in case they are needed. While many local authorities have their own network of foster carers, there are also a number of agencies who have their own foster carers and children are referred to them by local authorities to find them suitable homes.

Tom and Michaela are registered with Foster Care Associates, which operates a network of 80 offices in the UK, giving on-going training and support to its foster carers. They specialise in finding homes for children who are often difficult to place. They tend to be older, more traumatised children sometimes with challenging behaviour and special needs. However, Anita Ward, FCA's team manager in Leeds, says that since the Baby Peter case they are getting an increasing number of referrals to place younger children.

"There has been a big increase in referrals for under-fives since the Baby Peter case," says Anita. "We are always in need of more foster carers as there is a national shortage."

According to the Fostering Network, teenagers and children under the age of four are the two age groups most in need of foster carers. But councils have seen a rise in the number of children of all ages being placed in care. The organisation estimates there is a shortage of 10,000 foster carers nationally.

Before Anita became manager overseeing the social workers supporting FCA's 57 foster carers in the Leeds area, she was the Swaleses key support worker and has become more like a close friend of the family.

"What we liked about FCA was the fact that everything was about the welfare of the child,"says Michaela. "The child came first in every decision. They call it a team parenting approach which always makes you feel that there is someone there to help no matter what time of the day or night from a variety of areas."

FCA carry out rigorous assessments, including home visits, on people looking to become foster carers.

"It does take a special kind of person," says Anita. "We offer them comprehensive training and support, but they are offering us a huge commitment, and we know that it can be challenging."

One of the main issues for FCA is to match the right foster carers with the right skills to suit the right child.

"We would not place a child with a foster carer if we felt it wasn't the right match," says Anita. "That would not be in the child's best interest. The worst thing is when a relationship breaks down."

Michaela admits that it is not all plain sailing, and says with clear sadness that the family has once had to admit defeat.

"We just failed to make nay connection," she says. "We did not want the relationship to break down as that is not good for the child and at all times you have to look at what is best for the child."

Many of the children who have stayed with the Swaleses have suffered from challenging behaviour and have witnessed and experienced cruelty at the hands of those who should have protected and loved them.

"They have experienced family breakdowns so many times they become quite resilient to the family unit, because they anticipate it will end sooner rather than later. You have to put yourself in their position, and try to see it through their eyes. But FCA is realistic about the challenges, so you are prepared for virtually everything," says Michaela.

Sometimes they know a lot about the backgrounds of the children they are going to foster but, on occasions, if it is an emergency placement, they may not even know their name. Some will stay a few weeks, others a few years. Michaela also offers respite care, offering a break to other foster carers.

The child currently in their care has been with the Swaleses for two years, coming to them before Meredith was born. FCA carried out a reassessment when Meredith arrived to ensure that the family was happy to continue and in what capacity.

Michaels dismisses the idea that they may have decided to stop fostering when Meredith arrived,

"You don't throw your existing child out because a new baby arrives. It may bring about some issues, but you deal with them as you would if you had two birth children. Having a baby in the house has been really good," she says.

"It's not about saving children," says Michaela adamantly. "It is about giving them lots of love and understanding – and having a sense of humour. There are rewards, such as when they accept that love and start to feel good about themselves. Also, when a child gets back into education or they move on into independence."

Anyone interested in finding out more about fostering should visit the website www.iwanttofoster.com or call FCA, freephone 0800 085 2225. FCA welcomes applications from single parents, married and co-habiting couples as well as same-sex couples.