Isolation of being a man with breast cancer

When Graham Haigh was diagnosed with breast cancer in his late sixties he couldn't believe it.

Not only was it rare for a man to contract the condition, normally associated with women, but what made the diagnosis even crueler was the fact it came the day after the grandfather-of-four had been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

It left this normally fit and healthy man fighting for his life on two fronts.

Hide Ad
Hide Ad

"People have said to me that it would have finished a weaker man and I think they were right," says Graham, from Churwell, Leeds.

"But I was very fit before I suffered cancer, which gave me the physical and mental strength to cope. Before this I had never spent a night in hospital, but that is sometimes just the luck of

the draw."

Graham says without the help and support of family and friends at medical staff at both the Leeds General Infirmary and St James's his battle would have been harder.

He underwent surgery to remove the top half of his right breast and the lymph nodes under his right arm, something the keen badminton player found painful.

Hide Ad
Hide Ad

Since being diagnosed, Graham has had 30 radiotherapy sessions over a six-week period . For the prostate cancer he had brachytherapy, where 76 radioactive needles are inserted into the body.

He will be on a variety of medication for the next five years for both breast and prostate cancers.

"One of the hardest things to cope with is, when facing this illness, is the medication which leaves one feeling very tired and irritable."

Graham says he has had a lot of help dealing with this side of his illness by the Haven in Leeds. Last week he joined celebrations to mark the charity's second year helping people in Yorkshire.

Hide Ad
Hide Ad

The Haven, formerly the Breast Cancer Haven, provides, completely free of charge, a wide range of therapies which help people to deal with the emotional and physical side effects of breast cancer.

Graham is the only man out of the 772 people who so far have sought help at The Haven, based in the city's impressive Gateway building and offering a sanctuary for breast cancer sufferers, in the two years since the Leeds centre opened.

"I've never met another man with breast cancer," he said. "I did a fund-raising walk recently for a breast cancer charity and I was the only man. You could easily feel very isolated.

"But if there are others out there, I think it's important that men shouldn't feel embarrassed about it.

Hide Ad
Hide Ad

"They should take up offers of help and support, just like I have.

"I've found some of the therapies at The Haven, such as raiki and shiatsu massage, to be helpful although I wasn't so sure about acupuncture, but it's the positive approach of the people who work there that is a real boon in difficult times.

"I can imagine that for some less confident men they might find it daunting but if they could just get over that initial embarrassment they would realise that they too could be helped by the Haven."

The retired chartered electrical engineer heard about the Haven from Kathryn Kitchen, a Macmillan clinical nurse specialist in Leeds.

Hide Ad
Hide Ad

The original Haven was founded by Sara Davenport in 1997. The idea for the charity came following the experience of her children's nanny, Wendy Ricketts, who was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Sara was concerned by the lack of emotional support and information available at that time to anyone diagnosed with the illness.

Believing that "no-one should have to face breast cancer alone", Sara sold her art business and put all of her energy into creating The Haven.

The Prince of Wales is the charity's patron.

Now there are three Havens, in London, Hereford and Leeds. All the Havens rely on fund-raising and bequests to maintain the high level of service they offer.

Hide Ad
Hide Ad

Most of the people helping out at the Haven are volunteers and former breast cancer patients, so they know first hand what other visitors, as they are called, are going through.

The Haven recently appointed a new chief executive, Pam Heeley. whose job it will be to steer the charity through tough times

in the aftermath of the recession.

Graham may be the only man to have been helped by the Haven in Leeds, but he and the Haven's staff hope he won't be the last.

About 300 men a year are diagnosed with breast cancer compared to more than 45,500 women.

Hide Ad
Hide Ad

As a result, information and advice for men is hard to come by, leaving many feeling isolated and with no where to turn.

"There is so much information out there aimed at women and breast cancer that I don't think I ever really thought that it was something that men could get," explains Graham.

"It would really help to have more information aimed specifically at men."

Graham still has to go for six-monthly check-ups at hospital, but he feels lucky – 18 months down the line the cancer has not returned.

Hide Ad
Hide Ad

But he feels that more could still be done to help men with breast cancer.

"It is a small percentage compared to the number of women, but it is important. At the Haven I was made to feel welcome and it has really helped my recovery so far.

"My mantra is to stay positive and with the people at the Haven and my friends and family I have been able to do that."

For more information about the work of the Leeds Haven and to find out how you can help call 0113 284 7829 or visit www.thehaven.org.uk

Hide Ad
Hide Ad

The Haven: 4-5 The Gateway West, East Street, Leeds. LS9 8DA

MALE BREAST CANCER: THE FACTS

In men, breast cancer is very rare.

There are about 300 men diagnosed each year in the UK, compared with more than 45,500 cases of breast cancer in women.

Most of the information men with breast cancer need is the same as for women.

As with women, the single biggest risk factor for male breast cancer is increasing age.

Hide Ad
Hide Ad

Most cases are diagnosed in men between the ages of 60 and 70.

Other risk factors are high oestrogen levels, exposure to radiation, a family history or recognised breast cancer gene in the family, and a rare genetic condition called Klinefelter's syndrome.

Related topics: