Joanna Crosse: Finding my voice on a lifelong voyage of discovery

But inside she was in turmoil, crippled by low self-esteem and self-loathing, and addicted to alcohol.

"People think an alcoholic is someone who wakes up in the morning and needs a drink, that wasn't me. I never drank at work and always made it to the gym," says Joanna.

"It was the '80s, I was in the media, which had a great social life. It was a very hedonistic time. They were halcyon days; we worked hard and we played hard, but quite quickly that sort of drinking can get out of control without you knowing about it."

It took an ultimatum from her boss at TV-am, Bruce Gyngell, to make her realise she had a serious problem.

"He said I had to go into rehab or lose my job. He saved my life," says Joanna with startling frankness. "He realised that over and above the job, my recovery as a human being was more important."

The 52-year-old former journalist from the Harrogate area has just written a book, Find Your Voice which helps people understand how being able to communicate clearly can change their lives.

It was while in rehab, paid for by her TV-am bosses, that Joanna went through a lot of inner reflection and became interested in personal development – something which was to change her life.

"It was when I was incarcerated for three months that I became really interested in what made people tick," she says. "It had a profound effect on me

and made me realise that I could use that experience to help others."

Although Joanna returned to TV-am and quite quickly became pregnant with the first of her three children, she was a different person. She and her husband, Jim Ferguson, and baby daughter moved around, including a spell back in Yorkshire for YTV, before returning to London and a second baby. She started to explore working more as a voice coach and trainer.

When TV-am lost their franchise, Joanna and her young family saw it as an opportunity to take a

bold step.

"We decided to travel and also experience a different way of living."

The couple decided to

turn their backs on their hedonistic lifestyle and live in alternative communities in Australia and New Zealand.

Their children, Skye and Merrick, were just four and two. "It was a proper adventure," recalls Joanna.

"We wanted to try to discover how other people lived. It was amazing. Most people thought we were mad."

Looking back, Joanna says they were probably rather nave. "We just went. We didn't rent the house out or anything. So we came back to debts, no jobs and I found

I was pregnant with our

third child."

While trying to sell their house and write a book about living in a commune, they realised that they had only really been playing at it.

"We realised to write about it properly we needed to immerse ourselves in that lifestyle, not just be tourists."

So they went to live for three years in a spiritual community in the Midlands.

Joanna is rather reticent about talking about that period of her life where they were the only family in the 15-strong community.

She may be saving it for the book that as yet has never been written, or it just may be too difficult.

"Suffice to say we went in idealists and we came out idealists. It was a big learning curve and in many ways a reality check."

During that time, Joanna wrote a number of children's books, many about angels and spirituality.

After three years the couple decided to leave the community and settled in

the South West.

"Three years was long enough, it was time to go."

Joanna went back to what she knew best, working in television as a regional crime reporter and also as a voice coach for ITV.

"I saw it as a way of helping people. I was the Crimestoppers reporter, it was a way of giving victims of crime their voice."

When her marriage to Jim broke up 13 years ago, she began doing voice training work all over Britain for ITV while bringing up three teenagers as a single parent.

It was during this time that she realised the true power of the voice. "It's not just about what people hear, it is about people having the confidence to use their

inner voice."

She now gives coaching to a wide range of businesses and individuals.

"I've trained hundreds of people over the years. Some of them are people who have made incredible personal breakthroughs, and I felt their stories could be inspirational to others in the context of a book on voice coaching," she says.

She hopes her book will help people become more confident and reach their full potential.

"It's very important to be who you are," she says. "Often people think they have to be like somebody else, but they've missed the point as far as I'm concerned – you can only be comfortable by being yourself.

"I found my own voice when I came to understand myself, and I want to help other people to find theirs and to transform their personal and professional lives in doing so. I had no idea my life would turn out as it has."

Although she has successfully conquered many of her own demons, Joanna is honest enough to admit that life isn't all plain sailing, although she has not had a drink since leaving rehab when she was 29.

"I became very independent. I was rushing around helping others and looking after the children. I became very guarded and not very good at receiving. Then a year ago someone gave me a dog. It was amazing. I had never received such an extraordinary present. It made me go out for walks, it made me slow down and really grounded me. I started to take pleasure in simple things."

Her eldest daughter, Skye, now 22, is studying Arabic and Spanish at Leeds University while Merrick, 20, she describes as an entrepreneur and artist. He has received an Asbo for graffiti – she says with not just a little hint of pride.

Joanna Crosse has not exactly had a conventional life, and it appears that Merrick might be a chip off the old block. Her youngest daughter, Sedona, is 15 and a budding actress.

Joanna is also working on a comedy based on her life. She doesn't know yet whether it will be a book, a play or a film but there has been interest in it, she says.

"I often used to think that things would be really funny if they weren't happening to me. The best way to deal with the difficult times is through humour."

Joanna Crosse's book Find Your Voice – How Clear Communication Can Transform Your Life is published by Piatkus (12.99). To order a copy from the Yorkshire Post Bookshop, call free on 0800 0153232 or go online at www.yorkshirepostbookshop.co.uk. Postage and packing is 2.75

A new year, A new you

Jo's top tips for finding your voice in 2010:

Remember, whatever happened in 2009 is in the past. Appreciate what you have now.

Accept past problems as learning experiences and put your new-found insights into practice.

Write a list of areas in your life where you would like to make changes.

Make a list with two columns – what's working and what isn't working.

Acceptance is always the first step and once you are willing to make changes, the rest follows naturally.

Whether you're dealing with teenagers or a difficult boss, you can find ways to be more assertive (as opposed to aggressive

or passive) in your communication.

You and your voice are your unique selling points. Don't try to be like somebody else, but be more of you.