Men may get a good deal in life, but women are winners because they have true friends

So there we are, a group of women, full of lasagne and sprawled out on sofas, all of us with a glass of wine in our hand – not our first of the evening by a long chalk. And we began one of those "Would you rather..." conversations.

"Would you rather be a shark or a lion? Would you rather be a giant or a midget? Would you rather be reincarnated as a man or a woman?"

Ah, now we're talking. Something to really get our teeth into. Because we conclude that men seem to have life so much easier. They age better, and if they don't, they fail to realise that, and think they're all clones of George Clooney.

Their haircuts are infinitely cheaper, they can give their neck size to a shop assistant and come out with a perfectly fitting outfit – including socks – and Christmas is a doddle for them.

They aren't the ones who stress what to buy for their Great Auntie Mary who doesn't drink, smoke or eat sugar, is allergic to animals, material, jewellery and anything even remotely humorous sets her angina off. They don't wrap the presents or write the epic catch up letters on cards. And the Christmas meal is cooked for them when they return from the lunchtime drink at the pub.

They don't get stressed about losing their way in the car or that the petrol gauge has been on red for a fortnight.

They have five items in their bathroom cabinet, can go on a fortnight's holiday with a micro suitcase and never get a monthly hormonal rush that adds pounds to the weighing scales and adds chocolate to the shopping basket.

I used to think the big advantage women had over men was that we never had to do all that face-shaving. But since I hit middle-age, I look in a mirror and see Brian Blessed staring back at me.

Men's lives run on simpler, cleaner lines, it seems. Their brains do not constantly whirr with anxiety like women's do.

Looking at the facts – who would choose to be a woman?

Well, to be honest. I would. Because the one thing Nature – Mother Nature I would add – has done for us, is to make women be more in touch with our feelings which, okay, makes us more susceptible to depression, but it also makes it easier to bond with others and express ourselves. And who are we most likely to spill over to? Other women – because we have the ability to fully empathise with each other and because we are the care-givers.

I write a lot about female friendships, because they have given me so much joy and warmth over the years. In my latest book – A Summer Fling – I write about the cross-generational friendship of five women, based on my own experience of a friendship with women much older than me.

In my early 20s, I joined a furniture sales company where my only workmates were aged 51, 62 and 70. I came to realise how friendship pushes aside so many barriers – the age one in this case. Working for a psychotic boss made us watch each others' backs like hawks.

After work we would meet for a drink or a meal and relive our days, laughing till we cried.

And when I was dumped by my then boyfriend, these three ladies were like my mothers and aunts and big sisters all rolled into one.

And now that I'm older, I have friends a decade younger than myself and don't feel the separation of the years one bit. Any initial barriers melted with that first sip of wine.

When I've been dumped, I want to ring up the girls and get them round bearing screw top bottles of Merlot, frozen goodies grabbed from their freezers and giant bars of fruit and nut. I want to laugh about how well endowed my ex wasn't and how rancid his habits were. I want to talk and cry and for them to give me a hug.

Then I want to put Mamma Mia on the DVD and have a dance and a singsong with them all – and maybe open up yet another bottle.

Men are wired to seek solutions first and foremost rather than share the problem. They suffer in isolation – you won't get a group of men comingover laden with comfort foods.

And for that reason, I'm hoping that next time round I'm still a girl, with all my extra neuroses and anxieties and bits that are flopping so much these days that I need a sheepdog to herd me into my underwear.

I don't want to swap for the leg-shaving-free life of a man. I couldn't live without my female friends, x-rated confessions and gossip as delicious as the home-made dish of pasta we so often share.

Nothing can make me feel better than the soothing, no-nonsense company of a flock of birds.

Yes, women might stress more than men, but finding comfort by stressing in the company of other stressing women, really is the best compensation prize ever.

The official launch of A Summer Fling will take place in Barnsley Library on Thursday, Apr 29, at 2.30pm. Milly Johnson will be talking about her inspirations as well as signing books. The event is free but places are limited. To book, contact Jill Craven, Reader Development Officer, on 01226 773921 or email [email protected]