Modern Dilemmas: Don't have a crisis at 40 – celebrate and move on

Dear Alex – I'm soon to hit 40 and feel pretty devastated by it. Not just because I am feeling old but I look back and think, "Where did my life go?" So many of my friends feel the same as I do, namely, past it. What's ahead of me now but my body and mind falling apart bit by bit?

Yes, it's true your life is over. All I can say is that the best is behind you and you have nothing at all to look forward to except more wrinkles. Oh, and more grey hairs.

All right, I am kidding of course, but what if that were true? What if we hit 40 and "poof!" our lives were no longer enjoyable, fulfilling or valuable on any level? Our planet would be quite a miserable and dysfunctional place, don't you think?

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Many people, men and women, hit an age barrier (for some, it's reaching 30) and freak out. All of a sudden they feel mortal, old and slightly confused as to where the time went. Once over the initial shock, depression can set in and their age can be used as an excuse for all sorts of strange behaviour.

Here's your real dilemma, do you have a mid-life crisis or decide instead to make some fundamental changes in how you approach your life that bring about a whole new way of being? I know which one I would choose. Trust me; I've seen people choose the crisis, thinking that joining that club will serve them well.

Now you have an opportunity to let go of the past, even though it was good, and firmly set your sights on your future. And this goes for your friends, too. Start with a birthday bash to end all birthday bashes. Make it a celebration of life, invite as a many friends and family as you can and then in the middle of it all take a minute to look around you. See who's in your life right now. Think about how they make your life special and will continue to do so. Feel how good that feels and how lucky you are. Also consider what you mean to them. From that moment, decide what in your life needs to change, continue or end. Whatever you deduce will then be the focus of what you do until you feel that you're just left with the best bits.

Move ahead knowing you are carrying with you all that you value and love leaving the rest behind.

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From this vantage point the road ahead looks a whole lot better and more exciting. Just remember to take with you the wisdom (age's best gift) of knowing that your life is really only just starting to open up.

Alexandra Watson Leading Happiness Coach, best-selling author and co-founder of National Happiness Day helps celebrities, Olympic athletes and business professionals with dilemmas and personal issues. www.AlexandraWatson.com