Modern Dilemmas: Don't panic, think positive about shaping up

Dear Alex – I am trying to get fit before my holidays by eating more sensibly and starting to take exercise as often as I can but I cannot seem to do it consistently enough to get any results. I am haunted by images of myself on the beach looking awful and I feel so self-conscious and hate the way I look, but that doesn't seem to motivate me enough. In the time that I have what would help me to stay on track?
By The Newsroom
Published 13th May 2010, 12:22 BST
Updated 13th May 2010, 12:22 BST

Year after year we put ourselves through mental and physical agony by faddy dieting, constant weigh-ins and bouts of crazy exercise routines all so we look better in the sun. In fact, I think a lot of what we do as women is absolutely gaga but it's as the holiday season draws closer that we seem to go totally overboard.

Don't get me wrong, I am the biggest cheerleader when it comes to women. As one myself I completely understand our complexities and nuances, which do appear off the wall at times, but there is always a method in our seemingly mad behaviour when you study it.

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As creatures of fluid emotions we don't half make ourselves suffer, and beach wear can have us foaming at the mouth with fear.

True, many of us care not a jot about how we may look and that's fantastic, but the rest are deeply concerned.

This fear has triggered a billion pound weight-loss industry and a few others that offer quick solutions. Tummy control swimwear anyone?

Let's get real though, the only way to feel happier about how you look and the only way to be more consistent with your fitness habits is the solution – higher self-esteem. When you feel better about who you are and focus on that you will be more inclined to take good care of yourself.

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Taking the time to keep fit will become more of a priority and less of a seasonal panic (oh yes and then there's the Christmas party season panic too!) Your habits will become more positive and proactive as your thoughts and beliefs change.

What motivates you now changes over the years without you being aware of it and so what once spurred you into action, like visions of yourself lying on the beach, no longer has the desired effect. It is much better to be motivated by what excites you rather than what frightens you so to set your direction purposefully think about having more energy and feeling wonderfully confident on holiday.

Imagine how it will feel walking along the beach enjoying the moment, looking and feeling great.

That kind of imagery (rather than the horror story) will retrain your brain to think positively and therefore make it more willing to move towards that result without excuses.

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Stop the negative talk and decide that you'll no longer hide away and feel ashamed but instead step out in the sunshine and embrace your holiday for what it is, a time to relax and enjoy yourself.

Alexandra Watson is a leading Happiness Coach and best-selling author. If you have a modern dilemma ask Alex by going to www.AlexandraWatson.com