Modern Dilemmas: How do I stop my daughter having plastic surgery?

Not so long ago, girls of that age could make themselves feel better by simply buying new clothes and make-up. When did teenage anxiety get so expensive and radical? Your dilemma is a sign of the times where a whole lifestyle apparently beckons based on the size of a girl's

bust. Being more loved, more respected and more attractive has nothing to do with cup size, that fact will never change. What has, though, is a young and therefore vulnerable girl's opinion and her options.

Never has it been easier to indulge in body-altering surgery because so many of us believe that it will make us happy. There are, of course, exceptions, but for those that are for vanity's sake then one procedure will never be enough.

As your daughter is over 18 and is funding it herself, you have little sway other than to show her an alternative choice. Arguing about it will only make her more determined and you more anxious and exhausted. Compromising and cutting a deal that creates a good feeling between you is the way forward. Because there is always space for meeting each other half way, especially if she thinks she's wins.

First, though, think about why she wants to take such action by spending a moment in her shoes. Try to see why this is necessary and worth the money and ordeal to her. Think also about what is going to change for her and what might she be scared of. Once you've done this, you can now have a discussion touching upon each area with sensitivity and compassion.

Next, ask her to wait a year. Add that you know it's a big ask but when she does, you'll not only give her the support she needs but you'll also take her shopping for new clothes.

A year may appear to be a very long time for a teenager but no girl I know, young or old, really wants to do anything without her mum's support.

Sweeten the deal further by suggesting lots of fun things you will do together within that year, like a spa break, for example. Give her the incentive to put it off and you will give her the gift of time.

Whatever happens when the year's out, keep to your word and, in the meantime, feel confident that your girl will do the right thing for herself. Either way, you will grow closer. Should she decide not to wait a year, then all the choices are yours. Don't take it personally and don't be disappointed in her, just try to understand and tell her that's what you'll do.

Alexandra Watson is a leading Happiness Coach and best- selling author. If you have a dilemma ask Alex by going to www.AlexandraWatson.com