Modern Dilemmas: It's a match you can't win, so let boys be boys

Dear Alex – I've never felt so redundant in my life right now. My husband has gone World Cup mad, following every game possible on TV and radio. It's all he talks about and thinks about. Meanwhile I'm left having to watch alongside him in order to get any time with him at all. Am I being unreasonable to want some attention?

World Cup fever is heightened because it has been a tournament full of surprises, so even I'm enthralled right now! But seriously, it's a common dilemma for many women, what can we do, what should we do?

Nothing separates the sexes like sport, second only to shopping. What we love and get excited about most men simply roll their eyes and try to avoid. When it comes to their passion ,though, like football, it tends to be more intense, more all-consuming and well, noisier.

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Basically, we can either take it or leave it because there is no point trying to fight it. Men hate to be nagged and so women have to become creative in finding a way to get what they want. Seen as the World Cup is only for a month and held once every four years, we should allow our boys a bit of slack and occupy ourselves in other ways until life returns to normal. It seems futile to have arguments about something so temporary, so negotiate instead. If there is something you would like him to do, discuss it with him and let him know that you would appreciate his time, help or support – just be reasonable.

Avoid blackmailing or threats. I know it seems strange to even mention, but you'd be surprised how some people's idea of negotiating and compromising does include emotional pressures. Decide to let him have his fun as long as it doesn't completely ruin your life and pick your fights carefully, if at all. When it's all over and he gets over the result, then slowly get back into your routine and you'll finally get your husband back.

In marriages there are some things that you can and should let go of and one of them is that boys will be boys. Use this month to perhaps have more "me" time and catch up with old friends who are probably in the same situation as you. Occupy your evenings with something new and record your favourite TV shows to watch later. Put your energy into what you can do to make things better instead of trying to make him change.

Alexandra Watson is a leading happiness coach and best-selling author. If you have a dilemma, ask Alex by going to www. AlexandraWatson.com