My View: Striking a balance that brings out the best for all the family

Since having my children, six and four years ago, I have often heard the phrase "I need more me-time" from frazzled working mothers and fathers alike. In fact, I am probably guilty of uttering the words myself as a working mother from a generation struggling to be super mums, wives and employees.

But what is it that I really want? Would the odd hour down the gym, or soak in solitude in a soapy bath suddenly reinvigorate me and make me a more patient parent or more productive employee? I doubt it.

Why does my generation bleat on about needing more "me-time" as if it is the Holy Grail and the answer to all our problems?

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Academics and sociologists are meeting this week in London to discuss just what has happened to our parenting culture which has made us risk obsessed and uptight.

One theory is that these days there is just too much advice which puts pressure on us to be the perfect parents. No one can possibly be a perfect parent and so we are doomed to feel failures. This increases the risk of a "them and us" culture with our children.

Another theory is that, as a society, we have become more and more child-centred. We organise our lives around our children's lives rather than the other way round. Long gone are the days of children being "seen and not heard" and thank goodness for that, but the pendulum seems to have swung too far in the other direction as children are increasingly empowered often to the detriment of their over-worked parents.

As a result, some parents feel almost resentful as they are torn between the competing demands in their lives and hence feel the need for "me-time".

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We strive to do our best for our children, but in doing so increase the pressure on ourselves and therefore the feeling that we deserve a break from that parenting. The other danger is that we smother our children, not giving them the freedom they need themselves to discover and learn about the world around them.

Surely a better way of organising our frenetic lifestyles, juggling children, work and hopefully social life, is to create, as a family, a happy balance in which we all have a role.

Our children are important, but then so are we. Children need to know that the world does not revolve around them as they think, and as parents it is our responsibility to help them understand this and work together for a happy family life.

We need to redress this balance and children need to understand that life is busy and demanding and that they can play their part.

I am not saying that we shouldn't spend any time away from our children, but we shouldn't see that time apart as a reward.

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