Tears before bedtime as expert opinion differs

THE debate on whether or not to let your baby cry hotted up this week.

Baby care expert Penelope Leach draws on recent brain research to shed light on our expanding understanding of babies' development and the lifelong importance of their day-to-day care in the first year.

Her new book The Essential First Year, published by DK, outlines the potential damage done to babies' developing brains by leaving them to cry for prolonged periods.

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"It is not an opinion but a fact that it's potentially damaging to leave babies to cry. Now we know that, why risk it?" she says.

However, her opinion goes against the advice of other baby care expects, such as Gina Ford, who says it is good to let your baby cry so that they learn to settle themselves to sleep.

But according to Penelope Leach, young babies don't have the mental equipment to do this.

"A baby who is left crying for long enough will eventually stop, but not because he has learnt to go to sleep happily alone, but because he's exhausted and has despaired of getting help," she says.

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Being left crying hard is stressful, and continued acute stress sets up a hormonal chain reaction that ultimately stimulates the adrenal glands into releasing the "stress hormone" Cortisol.

Long continued or repeated crying can produce so much Cortisol that it is literally toxic to a baby's brain, she says.

"That doesn't mean that a baby should never cry or that parents should worry when she does. All babies cry, some more than others.

"It's not crying that is bad for babies but crying that gets no response."

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Not leaving babies to cry doesn't mean that parents can't work towards routines. Ms Leach says: "Routines you and your baby arrive at together will help you both to feel confident and safe; routines that suit you and that your baby accepts are fine, but routines that you have to force on your baby are not. Your only real guide to caring for your baby is his or her behaviour, so watch the baby not the clock".

The book contradicts some major assumptions such as "a baby brings a couple together".

That's wishful thinking. "Having a first baby is more likely to pull partners apart. Of the 50 per cent of all marriages that end in divorce, almost half break up within five years of the birth of a first child."

The assumption that babies in the womb are completely insulated is wrong too.

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The moods and feelings of mothers affect the development and behaviour of foetuses and maternal stress, especially anxiety about the baby's wellbeing, and discord with the father is bad for them.

Leach firmly believes that contentment in pregnancy is good for your baby.

A secure relationship with a mother who is warm, sensitive and responsive is the most important factor in a baby's development, progress and achievement, more important even than poverty, she adds.

Modern research shows that attachments to fathers are just as important but different.

"Fathers aren't assistant mothers; in fact it's clear

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that their relationships with their children matter more than their practical baby care.

"Studies show that children who had close relationships with fathers in their first years grew up to be better educated, higher earning, more law-abiding."

Her views may be controversial and will reignite the baby rearing debate, but once again they will leave women confused and torn about what is right for their baby.