Business Diary: March 16

THE boys at Cranswick have been getting a bit hot under the collar.

The Hull-based maker of posh sausages and fancy pork joints, has a new pin-up in the shape of the President of Argentina Cristina Fernandez.

Mind you, it might not be just her Latin looks that has got the lads interested. Ever keen to promote a good bit of British pork, they are over the moon to hear that Ms Fernandez believes that eating pork can boost your sex life.

"It's much more gratifying to eat some grilled pork than to take Viagra," Ms Fernandez told representatives of the pig industry.

Apparently she has tested the theory, which as far as the Cranswick staff are concerned is good news for pork lovers everywhere.

English it ain't

DIARY receives more than its fair share of emails riddled with business jargon and marketing speak – most end up straight in the bin.

Research by new business generating agency Retriever has found Diary isn't alone – 62 per cent of managing directors, marketing directors and chief executives find prospecting emails and letters are so riddled with "new business speak" that they are binned within five seconds of opening.

According to the research, the most hated phrase is "at the coalface", followed closely by "win-win situation". "Blue sky thinking" and "singing from the same song sheet" are also among the more detested jargon. Advertising agencies were found to use the most jargon, with marketing agencies a close second.

Diary's personal pet hates are "low hanging fruit", "outside the box" and "hit the ground running". So PRs be warned if you want to touch base you're flogging a dead horse if the message is littered with jargon.

Stocking up for charity

WHAT do staff at a stockbroking firm in Leeds do on a Friday night?

Well, this weekend, they will be manning the phones to help some of the world's poorest people enjoy a better life.

Anyone calling the Sport Relief hotlines to donate cash could find themselves talking to somebody with a Yorkshire accent.

Staff at stockbrokers TD Waterhouse in Leeds are giving up their spare time to provide vital support for fundraising efforts on behalf of Sport Relief.

It's proved to be such a popular initiative that staff from TD Waterhouse's Luxembourg operations are coming over to join in.

Angus Rigby, TD Waterhouse's chief executive, told Diary: "Our take-up of corporate social responsibility is tremendous among the staff. About 80 per cent of the team contribute in one way or another. That's for all sorts of things such as right to read and helping some of the students with their maths.

"Our call centre will be open for Sport Relief this Friday. We've got 200 volunteers coming in from 6pm to midnight answering the phones and taking donations from the UK public to support what we see as a great cause. The team love it. It's great fun and it's for a great cause. We donated in excess of 70,000 for charities last year. Most of that is contributed by the team."

Furniture feat

DAVID Dickson revealed this week the secret behind the expansion of accountancy firm Garbutt and Elliott.

Mr Dickson, now chairman of the company, joined the York-based firm in 1990, tasked with the job of launching a second office in Leeds.

He said: "We opened the Leeds office by bringing furniture over from York on the back of a wagon so I guess you could say it fell off the back of a lorry."

When PC is wrong

Relief for the millions of us who suffer from computer rage – those damned machines are not always right. People who use PCs to help them make good decisions are often unwittingly being led into making bad ones, research at Leeds University Business School has found.

A report by John Maule, professor for human decision making at Leeds University Business School, finds that computers steer people towards the wrong decisions because they don't take account of how we really think.

"If someone has a hunch about how they should take a particular decision or solve a problem, they tend to look for anything that confirms what they initially believe to be true. Computers provide us with so much more information and unless people are trained to do otherwise, they only focus on those aspects that are consistent with their initial views. This can make them even more confident about what they are doing when in fact it is wrong."

So stick with your gut reaction – even if the computer says "no".

Back to busy times

CORPORATE bankers are getting busy in the latest sign that the economy is improving. One banker sent an email to his boss in the wee hours, remarking it was "good to be working normal hours again".