Why Black Friday may not ‘be a thing’ a decade from now - Bird Lovegod

Library image of the Black Friday sales in Leeds Picture: James Hardisty
Library image of the Black Friday sales in Leeds Picture: James Hardisty
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I’m writing this on Black Friday.

An entirely manufactured construct no one asked for shamelessly goading the genpop into spending money they don’t have on things they don’t need as a participatory event designed only to increase the very thing threatening our collective environment and existence. Black death Friday, a plague on all your (ware) houses, as Shakespeare would undoubtedly call it out.

Myself, I strongly predict it won’t even be a thing in a decade from now. As a sign of our collective progress and increasing maturity the total fizzle out of Black Friday would be a great and sure indicator we’re on the right path to sustainable sanity.

So as a wholesome alternative, here’s my futureproof selection of days and colours.

Let’s start with Green Tuesday, where we eat no meat, and have an especially heightened awareness of environmental issues, and collectively there’s a big tree planting event whereby we see how many millions of trees can be planted on that day across the world. Green Tuesday is all about the environment, it’s the most important thing, our responsibility to a thousand generations to come after us, and we’ll never forget that.

Then we enter into Blue Wednesday, where the waters of the earth and the oceans and seas are brought to mind, and we eat no fish, and have special events to clean rivers, and it’s all about the preservation and restoration of those amazing and beautiful habitats.

Covering most of our world, home to most of the life on it, these spaces are equally vital heritage. Followed by Pink Thursday, a celebration of creativity, art, music, theatre, performance, dance, a blaze of passion and expression and soul driven communication.

The streets come alive, spontaneous performances spring out of shops and homes, everything is transformed into a play. Everyone loves Pink Thursday.

Silver Friday. A time to focus especially on the elderly, and society turns to them, ensuring they are loved and included, companionship, where needed, and care and support, and free travel and free tea and biscuits in every café.

Rainbow Saturday comes, and individualism and diversity are the order of the day, the unity of the species, wild in variance, glorious in technicolour, boundaries are expanded and humanity with them. Bring out the new, the strange the mysterious and unexpected.

Gold Sunday. The crown of the week, a time of rest, and family, and remembrance of where we have come from, those who helped the way, great and small, the paths of good we took, the paths of peril we narrowly avoided, we remember and we never forget and we are always grateful.

How better to end the week, ready for another to begin.

Bright Yellow Monday, the day where we make especially sure to be kind to one another, generous, in heart and mind and soul and material, where we carry no unforgiveness, from our personal lives or the past history of our people. Bright Yellow Monday. It’s easy to live when we have the winds of change in our sales.

Bird Lovegod is an independent fintech consultant