Be warned: 'disgusted' may not be very happy

TV licence fee staff have been issued with a manual advising that customers who use the words "idiots", "shambles" or "useless" are likely to be making a complaint.

Other indications that a viewer may be unhappy include use of capital letters or the phrases, “When will you people listen?”, “Who do you think you are?” and “Sort yourselves out!”

The 964-page official handbook, the TV Licensing Ask Helpscript, which was released following a Freedom of Information request, sets out in detail how the fee should be administered.

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A large section is dedicated to dealing with complaints, including prepared answers to regular objections about the BBC’s “offensive” programmes and the aggressive tone of licence fee warning letters that could “shock” elderly people.

Staff are advised to look out for particular “keywords” suggesting a customer is protesting about some aspect of the 145.50-a-year fee.

These include: “compensation”, “complaint”, “disgraceful”, “disgusted”, “incompetent”, “appalling”, “furious”, “intimidation”, “mistakes”, “harassment”, “rude”, “threatening”, “outrageous”, “upsetting”, “unacceptable” and swear words.

The guide also lists warning phrases, such as “I am extremely angry”, “I demand an apology”, “lack of courtesy”, “your failure” and “I will sue”.

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The document adds: “Remember underlining of key words and phrases or the use of bold or capital letters designed to make certain parts of a letter stand out is also an indication of a complaint.”

The two main contractors administering the TV licence received 35,000 complaints in 2008 and 37,000 in 2009, says the TV Licensing website.

A TV Licensing spokeswoman said: “There are more than 25 million licences in force.

“In 2009-10 complaints totalled 29,900, representing 0.1 per cent of all licence holders.”

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