Farmer who didn’t want wife, but got one

Do you remember that old nursery chant of “farmer wants a wife” complete with the refrain “ee-eye-addyo”? It was a regular feature of many infants’ first attempt at making choices. It may not have been real but it did lead to an early opportunity to hold hands and be very embarrassed.

When the song was used as the title for a television series to assist farmers in finding their partner there is little doubt that the producers hoped for a Cilla Black “do I need to buy a hat” moment.

North Yorkshire cereals grower and confirmed rural bachelor David Sowray of Humberton, near Helperby took part in the second series in 2009 with little hope or intention of changing his lifestyle to accommodate anyone else. He focussed purely on enjoying the experience and having a bit of fun.

Two weeks ago he married Rachael (Gibson) at Newby Hall.

“I was 46 at the time when we were recording the programme, 49 now and I was very happy living on my own coming and going as I pleased, playing rugby and cricket and with a good social life. I never imagined I would meet someone I would want to spend my life with and certainly never felt any pressure to get married despite being the eldest in the family. When you’re in your 20s you get that a little, but fortunately the others were married and have produced offspring so by the time I was in my 30s or now 40s there was no pressure at all.

“A friend of mine’s mother asked whether I was going to give the series a go as she knew I had been approached for its second time around. How they got hold of me I never found out, but I told her there were two problems. First I didn’t want to do it and secondly I had a girlfriend already at the time.”

Farmer David ended up taking part and was a very popular choice amongst the 600 ladies who applied to meet the farmers who were allegedly looking for a spouse.

“The women and farmers who were shortlisted to appear had to go to the London Centre for Psychology and undertake a full psychological assessment. It was an amazing experience. All the women came through, but some of the farmers didn’t!

“We ended up getting masses of letters and because there were overseas versions of the show I started receiving them from Australia, New Zealand and the US as well as the UK. Some came from children asking me to take their mum out. I told Woody, the series producer, that I wasn’t going to take it seriously and if they wanted me to then I’d have to opt out. He told me there were plenty who were taking it seriously and just to enjoy it and be myself so that’s what I did and I had a great time.

“I was very lucky with the two girls who eventually spent a week with me on the farm along with a camera crew. They were both good fun but there was never going to be anything happen in the way the programme may have hoped.

“The mickey-taking back home and around was amazing, but to be honest I was more concerned, when the series aired, that the farm looked good, rather than the house. That’s what counted for me. The house was a typical bachelor pad with a massive television for sport and bought-in takeaways a speciality.”

Ironically the TV series was to lead to David getting together with someone from close to home as Rachael explains: “I walked into my mum’s house in Birstwith one night as she was watching the programme and she told me to sit down and take a look at this man.

“My first thought was that he was quite nice and then I realised I already knew him. I’d seen David when I was out for the night in Harrogate but had never spoken to him.”

A degree of premeditation, plus a mutual friend saw the pair get together just two years ago and the farmer who had no intention of getting married was hooked.

What clinched the deal was when Rachael sorted the house out.

“It took me three weeks going through every cupboard, and the garden? Well you could hardly see a blade of grass.”

There is a serious side to the idea of Farmer Wants a Wife as the tradition of farmers marrying another farmer’s daughter is less prevalent today because the farming community is much smaller, and the isolation that some farmers feel when working often long, unsociable hours does not lend itself to either meeting or attracting potential partners.

The idea of marrying someone outside of a farming background can potentially create serious financial problems if the marriage fails, and some farmers now insist on prenuptial agreements in order to protect their farms. That’s not the case with David and Rachael.

Rachael has a countryside background and also runs her own business, Reynard Crag Holiday Park at Birstwith.

“I used to have a livery yard in Menston and have show-jumped since I was six years old, so I’ve been around the agricultural shows for a number of years.”

Love doesn’t pay the rent...

The farm is tenanted from the Crown Estate and runs to 530 acres. David’s family came here in 1926. It is predominantly an arable concern and David says “if we can’t combine it, we don’t grow it”.

They also have pigs on a bed and breakfast basis for nearby JC Lister Farms and fatten 3,500 pigs from 30 kilos to 100.

Whilst David has plenty to shout about, having tied the knot with Rachael, the farm’s cashflow has been seriously damaged this year.