Expert Answers: Worries over daughter’s new school

Choosing a secondary school is an exciting and important time in your child’s life. It means they are growing up and life as they know it is about to change. They go from being the oldest at primary school to the youngest at a much larger school.

We all worry about choosing the right school for our children, about the standards of lessons, whether our child will make friends or whether they are ready for the challenges of secondary school.

Do not despair if the schools you are interested in appear to be oversubscribed. Sometimes, schools have far more advanced bookings than people actually wanting to take up places in the end. It is always worth contacting the school of your choice to see if there are any late cancellations. If you’re convinced the school’s right for your child but you’re turned down, telephone the headteacher and ask for feedback, and whether or not the school will consider your child for entry at a later stage.

Stay in touch, demonstrating your interest. Schools keep waiting lists of interested families who are often offered places before new applicants are assessed. There is no harm in showing a school how keen you are for your child to get in. Places do become available in the later years. School waiting lists are no longer the thing to go by. For a secondary school in the independent sector to have any credibility these days, it has to select on the basis of ability rather than on a first apply, first served basis. This is even more true for good state schools.

Going to appeal: Despite your best efforts, if you’re still unable to secure a place at your favoured school and it’s in the state sector, you could consider appealing to your local education authority.About one in 10 admissions go to appeal and although not all are successful, for some parents, it is well worth the effort.

Start by finding out why your child was turned down and how far down the list she came. Prepare your case, demonstrating how the admission criteria apply to your child and the reasons you believe she should be accepted.

You’ll be given an appeal date, and your case will be heard by panel members who are not involved with the school.

Their job is to listen to both sides and reach a verdict, which you should hear within a few days.

In rare cases, parents go on to appeal to the Education Secretary, but it’s worth remembering that appeals can be a fraught process and you have to consider your child’s feelings.

Paul Charlson

GP from Brough

I am not sure you have a great deal of choice in the matter. There are a number of factors to consider. How bad is the school your daughter is likely to go to? Is it in all honesty hugely different to the other schools in the area? If not I would probably go with your daughter’s wishes. However, if it is really much worse, the action I would take is firstly find out about the appeals process. Secondly discuss with your daughter why you would like her to consider the first choice school. I suspect the appeals process may be unsuccessful in any case and therefore it may be out of your hands. However, it is worth a try if you feel strongly about it. Your daughter at age 10 still needs considerable parental guidance.

Elaine Douglas

A chartered psychologist who specialises in family and child relationships

THIS is an interesting one. You say that your daughter has been turned down for “your” first choice of school. Was this a decision that included her thoughts and ideas. If it did then it is a blow for all of you – if not then she may be relieved that she has the opportunity to go to a school with her best friend. You have to look at your options. She has been offered a place at a school you have concerns about. Is your information about it first hand, or are you relying on hearsay? I do think that you need to check this out before you make your mind up. Look at it holistically – what resources do they have, what subjects do they offer, what are their league table results? If you know of anyone whose children already go there can you talk to them? There is a lot to be said for a child having a friend when they move to secondary school. It can be quite a bewildering experience and just having someone there to talk to can be very comforting. Children are less likely to be bullied or feel insecure if they have a friend. Talk to your daughter about this and involve her in the process.

Cary Cooper

Professor of Organisational Psychology and Health at Lancaster University

I think you need to go with your daughter’s instinct, particularly since the transition to secondary school can be very stressful and if she feels she needs the support of her friends, then this might help her adjust to the new environment. You should of course monitor the situation very closely, and if she becomes unhappy and/or you feel that she is not making the progress she should, you can reconsider. You will also then have the grounds for changing schools when discussing it with the local education authority.

Dr Carol Burniston

Consultant Clinical Child Psychologist

THIS seems to be an increasingly common problem. You could try visiting the school where she has been offered a place and asking the head about any concerns you have. They will be able to tell you about the present situation and show you the realistic expectation of the school. Talking to parents who already have a child in the school might also help. Whatever you do, don’t rely on gossip or hearsay. You also have to be realistic, if the school you prefer is full, then it will not be helpful to raise expectations of a place becoming available. Your daughter‘s preference is important as it will influence her initial settling in period. I think it is a question of balance, if you have reservations after your research but your daughter feels very strongly then that might incline you to going with her preference. However, if you are not reassured by your inquiries, then you have to make a decision as parents and explain to your daughter why you are doing so. I would encourage you to get involved in whichever school your daughter does attend. Becoming a parent governor or joining the PTA are good ways of getting a real feel for the school and helping to shape its future.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN A SCHOOL

A good school will have:

* An inspiring, enthusiastic and committed headteacher

* Experienced, qualified and inspiring teachers.

* Clear discipline policies

* High expectations of everyone

* Small class sizes.

* Extensive extra-curricular activities

* A well-kept building, with sufficient grounds for outdoor activities.

* Children who are self-confident and enthusiasts about their school and feel valued in the school at large.

* Strong links with the parents

* System to help pupils who fall behind.