Flying the flag for Yorkshire where the tea and cakes are just champion

For those who don't live in a remote corner of Yorkshire and those who haven't made a life's work or passionate hobby out of studying the evolution and pronunciation of Yorkshire dialect, the colourful but impenetrable sentences above translate as this:

"Have you finished eating and had a good chat – or argument? If you're disappointed, we're astonished and upset. If you've eaten your food, get your money out! There are no giveaways here, but you're going to find you don't need a bucketful of cash in our tearooms."

At West Winds tearooms in Buckden, Upper Wharfedale, among the goodies on offer is the best Yorkshire Crud Chissocks (Yorkshire Curd Tart) I've had in many a year, and no, resident sponge and pastry queen Lynn Thornborrow won't part with the recipe – which, of course, includes a secret ingredient.

The stone building and cottage garden offers as picturesque a Yorkshire Dales village scene as you'll find, complete with visitations from a couple of local sheep who like to winkle their way in and make for the borders. The loo is up the path, round the back.

The tearooms' quaint interior gently reminds visitors – some of whom may be taking in several counties in a few days – that this is definitely Yorkshire, and framed accounts of the lives of personalities like Kit Calvert, Marie Hartley, JB Priestley and Hannah Hauxwell attest to the strong characters moulded by this proud county.

Lynn Thornborrow and Stephen Hounsham fly the flag for organic, local and Fairtrade produce as far as possible. This year, with the important date of August 1 (Yorkshire Day) on the horizon, they decided to go further and provide customers with a tribute to Yorkshire dialect. They've written a version of their menu in a mixture of dialect from across the county in homage to wonderful language that's in danger of being consigned to the dustbin.

You might choose "Fresh cutten carse cake butty wi' Whardill yam-coddled kye-meat and' red onion marmalade..." (freshly cut brown bread sandwich with Wharfedale home-roasted beef and red onion marmalade) and follow up with "Onny Yorksher ceeak or tantattlin fra t'cake cabinet" (any Yorkshire cake or fancy from the cake cabinet).

Nodding to all tastes, you can order yarb teea (herbal tea). A heartier lunch could be "Bobby-dazzler pie med wi' meyt fra Kilnsey Park Estate, yam-coddled iv oor yivvin..." (Wharfedale Rabbit Pie – very special pie, made with meat from Kilnsey Park Estate, home roasted in our oven).

So far, so amusing and a cute little PR stunt. But Lynn, who grew up in this area and has run the tearooms for 18 years, and Stephen are so passionate about Yorkshire dialect and keen to hear customers having a go that they've put together written guides to handy phrases and their translation.

More enthusiastic visitors can experience a crash course in the rules of pronunciation, with demos given in between the rushing back and forth with trays of "dacky-meyt anenst tean coddled eggs" (gammon and two fried eggs). This language service will be on offer for two weeks, starting on Yorkshire Day.

Lynn remembers her parents and older folk around the villages using some of the phrases. She doesn't wheel out many of the words herself, although "jiggered" (exhausted) and "chunterin' a bucketful" (having a good moan) do feature. That's not hard to imagine, after a long hard day at the oven.

Lynn, who is a bit shy about showing off any talent for dialect, rushes off to check on the crud chissocks. Stephen is more than happy to give tips on correct pronunciation. It turns out he's the one with the real fire in his belly about Yorkshire dialect, having properly discovered it as an adult because – say this quietly – he is an "oft-cumden" (recently arrived from elsewhere). He has read widely, including the works of the late, great Yorkshire dialect expert Arnold Kellett.

"My mother was born in Holbeck, Leeds, but the family moved to Portsmouth when she was very young," he says. "I used to hear her use the odd strange phrase that fascinated me, and heard even more when family from Yorkshire came visiting."

Stephen came to live in Yorkshire in1986 (still oft-cumden to some, then...) and felt an instant affinity with both people and landscape. "I think if you feel that sense of identification, then you're as Yorkshire as anyone else. It all felt very familiar very quickly, but dialect words and phrases, even in my time here, have fallen out of use. I think that's a great shame, although I can see how it has happened through education and population moving about."

Stephen clearly dislikes the way the twin evils of Standard English and globalisation are combining to make the world more bland. "Regional idiosyncrasies are being ironed out, obliterated. The beauty of difference between one place and another is disappearing. But I don't see dialect as part of history; it's still a living language, and it would be great if more people had a go at bringing it into everyday use."

Surely it will take more than two weeks in August to persuade customers that dialect is a treasure worth saving?

"I feel very strongly about it, but you have to tread a line between running a business and running a campaign. I don't want people to feel they have to go along with this, or that we won't talk to them in ordinary English... But it would be great if they were interested."

As I drain my teacup and leave, something magical catches my eye: "When tha's gat collywobbles or belly-wark, or tha's bahn ter trump or boke an' all, dooant blame t'teea'ahse" (If you get queasy or have stomach ache or you're going to break wind or even be sick, don't blame the tearoom).

Are we absolutely sure Shakespeare wasn't from Yorkshire?

The making of yorkshire down the ages

Yorkshire dialect developed when the Angles, settlers from northern Germany, came to England after the Romans departed.

Three distinct versions of Yorkshire dialect took shape – West Riding, North Riding and East Riding. In the ninth century, Viking invaders

added their influence to the language, as did the Normans after 1066, although to a lesser extent.

Yorkshire dialect reflects its Germanic and Scandinavian origins in particular with words often similar to their counterparts in those languages.

Other words are simply Old English versions of what appears in Modern English. Today, the number of fluent dialect speakers is falling, despite the work of enthusiasts like the Yorkshire Dialect Society.

The first day of August marks Lammas, a celebration once held in the Yorkshire countryside when the first loaf of bread was made from the new harvest. It is also the anniversary of the Battle of Minden in 1759, in which an Anglo-German army defeated the French at Minden in Germany.

Yorkshire soldiers in the King's Own Yorkshire Light Infantry made an important contribution to the victory.

Yorkshire Day was instigated in 1975 by the Yorkshire Ridings Society as part of a campaign seeking the return of the three Yorkshire

Ridings, which were abolished the previous year as part of local government re-organisation.

Knowing your county dialect

n Mizzle: Mixture of mist and drizzle – "Theeare's mizzle on t'fells."

n Jiggered: All-in, tired – "Ah'm fair jiggered."

n Reet: Very – "Yon cake's reet tasty."

n Real: Good or outstanding – "That wor reet real party."

n Side up: Clear up (dirty plates, etc) – "Ah'll side up pots."

n Reckon nowt to: Not think highly of something – "Ah reckon nowt ter that!"

n Back-end, backendish: Autumn, end-of-summer blues – "Aye, back-end's comin'/ Ah'm a bit back-endish."

n Gurt: Big – "That gurt gob o'thine."

n Awl maks and manders: All kinds – "Theeare's awl maks an' manders o'ceeks (cakes)."

n T'snotters: A cold – "Fost winter 'ere we wor allus wi' t'snotters."

n Think on: Remember – Tha' mun think on!"

n Frame thissen!: Pull yourself together – "Frame thissen, lad!"

n Chunterin' a bucketful: Moaning like mad – "Thi fatter's (father's) chunterin' a bucketful."

n Yorksher crud chissocks: Yorkshire curd tart – "Yorkshire crud chissocks, an' sharp, barm-pot! (Yorkshire curd tart, and quickly, you fool!)"