Helping hand for the new army of carers

A growing number of grandparents are becoming full-time carers for their grandchildren. Catherine Scott talks to two such families and asks the experts about the implications of this trend.
Christine Walker with her son Robert 14 (left) and grandson Scott 9 at her home at Summerbridge  near Pateley Bridge.Christine Walker with her son Robert 14 (left) and grandson Scott 9 at her home at Summerbridge  near Pateley Bridge.
Christine Walker with her son Robert 14 (left) and grandson Scott 9 at her home at Summerbridge near Pateley Bridge.

Christine Walker was looking forward to going back to work full-time as her youngest son was now old enough to be left alone.

But with very little notice she suddently became one of a growing number of grandparent carers in the UK.

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“I received a text from my daughter one Wednesday night asking if Scott could come and live with me,” explains Christine, herself a single parent from Summerbridge.

“Scott is different from lots of children. He has learning difficulties and behavioural issues. I had said a long time ago that if she was struggling he could come and stay with me but I didn’t really mean forever. She has three other children and couldn’t cope with Scott.”

But Christine was worried if she didn’t act, Scott, who was then eight, could end up in care.

“I love him and would do anything for him. So I thought about it, told her on the Friday I would have him and by the Monday morning he came.”

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Catherine Thompson from Harrogate-based charity Carers’ Resource, says this is becoming an all too familiar picture.

“I have seen at least six new grandparent carers in the last three months,” she says.

“This isn’t just granny looking after the children for a few hours, this is where grandparents are having to care full-time for grandchildren, more often than not with learning disabilities and challenging behaviour.”

Catherine believes the increase is part due to parents with drug and alcohol problems, who are then giving birth to children with disabilities and then in turn cannot cope.

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“It really is becoming a serious problem. A lot of these grandparents are retired or heading that way. Many have downsized their properties, but then find themselves with sometimes more than one child moving in. Housing is a real problem.”

Catherine works with the carers to try to help them understand the benefits system.

“One of the main issues is accessing the Disability Living Allowance for the child and then that opens some doors. Until then the Government says that children under 16 of the same sex have to share a room, but when one has special needs it just isn’t the best thing in a lot of cases.”

She has successfully managed to get one family rehoused to a larger home after grandma and her partner took in her two grandsons, then aged two and three, after their mother suffered a fit, hit her head and died, leaving no one to look after her children.

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One of the boys has serious behavioural issues which wasn’t being helped because of the lack of space.

Now, four years on and thanks to Catherine and Carers’ Resource, the family has been relocated to a three-bed house with a garden.

For Christine, 54, and her 14-year-old son, Robert, taking on Scott been a big change.

“I was working as a care assistant at the time and had planned to go back full-time now that Robert was big enough to let himself in after school. But that has all changed.”

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In fact Christine has had to give up work altogether to care for Scott, who has a reading age of closer to five than nine.

“I do feel isolated and, I have to admit, bitter towards my daughter. I love her and always will but I could never turn my back on my own child.”

One year on, Scott’s life has improved thanks to the positive difference made by Carers’ Resource.

Catherine became a close link and helped Christine emotionally, financially and practically as she struggled to come to terms with the unrelenting pressures of being a full-time carer.

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“I am not sure what I would have done without her,” admits Christine. “I was going around in circles trying to get support. I went to bed at night not wanting to wake up. I kept thinking about what tomorrow would bring. Would it be better? Or would it be worse?

“It felt like walking up a huge mountain – and in your sandals.”

As well as a caring organisation, Carers’ Resource is also a listening one. “For the first time, somebody sat down and listened to me and what I had to say,” says Christine. “The charity is not judgmental and understands how your life can be like. It’s like having a friend with whom you can discuss any problem – and it will always help.

“It lifted my spirits and restored my confidence. You knew it was on your side and batting for you.”

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With the charity’s guidance, Christine has had her eyes opened to the wide range of support that is available to carers to make a positive difference to their lives and those they care for.

Catherine has also put Christine in touch with the Grandparents’ Association, where she can share her experiences with other grandparent carers – something which will help her in the role.

And she has also paved the way for Robert to join a Young Carers’ Youth Club in Harrogate, which gives him the opportunity to discuss and share his own experiences with his peers, all of whom live in a “caring” household themselves.

“I still do feel isolated sometimes though. I wish there was an organisation like Gingerbread where grandparent carers can talk to like-minded people going through the same thing.”

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“It is becoming a really big problem,” says Catherine, “and not one that is fully recognised. I am sure there are far more grandparents put there in this situation, but they are too proud to come forward.

“A lot of them see it as their failure. We just try to make things easier.”

Royal honour for charity founder

Anne Smyth, founder and Director of the Yorkshire-based Carers’ Resource, has been awarded the OBE “for services to carers” in the Queen’s Birthday Honours. A leading national expert on care, Anne, from Ripon, is also the Deputy Chair of the Standing Commission on Carers. She dedicated the honour to Yorkshire’s growing number of carers and to the dedicated people with whom she works. The Carers’ Resource, which has offices in Harrogate, Ripon, Bradford and Skipton, has grown from humble beginnings to one of the largest and most successful carers’ centres in the country.When it first opened its doors in 1995, it had just four staff working out of a single office in North Park Road, Harrogate. Eighteen years later, it has helped nearly 20,000 young carers, parent carers, grandparent carers and adult carers. It has expanded its range of specialist services to meet their changing needs and grown employs more than 90 staff and about 120 volunteers.

www.carersresource.org

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