Modern Dilemmas

Dear Alex, I'm a good driver and have never had an accident. My sense of direction isn't the best but my husband prefers that I drive but is constantly telling me what to do. He tells me when to change lanes, indicate, park, speed up, and slow down. It's endless and he makes me nervous! How can get him to stop doing this?

I hate to be the one to tell you, but it's not just him that causing the trouble. Your husband is not doing this to you; you've helped create this scenario by allowing him to, over time. This issue has become an uncomfortable cycle which started out as help but is now just frustrating you. The key to changing this once and for all is to change how you feel about it. Unless you do this, nothing can improve. It's not enough to simply suggest that he does the driving or that you don't travel together, or tell him to mind his own business. They are not solutions and simply won't work. The changing has to be done by you. I know that many people get don't like to hear that it's them who has to change, but you have the power to change your life. When you think that others need to do something differently in order to make your life better, you have just let go of all your power. That's one of the first things I teach people when I coach them – that they and only they have the power to make improvements. When they get that, then we can start to make huge transformations. Basically it's three steps; know your options, make a choice and make your move. Simple. So start from where you are, decide to feel better about it and know that his suggestions are well meaning. Eventually, as you feel better each car trip, you'll notice that he won't do it as often. Magic? No. it's just how really being in the driving seat works.

Alexandra Watson is a happiness expert and best-selling author. If you're ready to be happy and more confident visit