Clare Teal: Wet, wet, wet, then paying through the nose for a hot dog

However, I do object to them driving along narrow but deep, puddle-ridden roads, in the centre of town, in fifth gear. He got us good – we were soaked to the skin.

I stood in open-mouthed disbelief, muddy water dripping off my nose, waiting for the apology that never came and thanking the powers that be he hadn’t part ex’d his Micra for a Range Rover.

All dried off now.

It’s been a busy old time. The day after our Birmingham concert found us at The National Homebuilding & Renovating Show at the NEC in Birmingham. It was mind-blowing, and our free carrier bags were soon stretched to the max with catalogues for seemingly every product and/or procedure we may need or use.

Invisible speakers, shiny plug sockets, trendy wood-burning stoves, copper baths and all that dull building and plumbing stuff. It made us realise just how big the job ahead of us is.

But this is a dream we definitely want to achieve so you’ll be thrilled to learn I’ve entered a competition to win a ground-source heat pump.

An awful lot of money must have changed hands over the weekend, none more so than at the hot-dog stand. “Three hot dogs and three bottles of water please.”

“£22.55.”

“No, love, three hot dogs.”

You can buy a better quality sausage for around the 43p mark, a hot-dog roll for 15p, a squirt of ketchup and mustard 4p, and 50p for a bottle of water, which comes to £1.12. I appreciate they have to pay wages, utilities and rent the space, but clearly this franchise must be owned by one of our high street banks.

So, alas, it seems the next stage is to put our lovely flat on the market again; therefore, we have to finish the kitchen – in the middle of trying to put out the new record.

According to our hero, it takes five times longer to source your tiles than you think. He tells us this at least four times a day. Tell me how long can it take to find cream tiles?