Ian McMillan: Gap in the market for a true Tyke tipple

It felt like that buffet they had on Brief Encounter and it’s true that in certain lights I do look like Trevor Howard, although it’s also true that in certain less forgiving lights I look more like Howard Trevor, the legendary coalman from Hoyland Nether who made his own false teeth out of wood.

Now, I’ve eaten all over the world. I’ve had rotting fish in South Korea and fried grasshoppers in Mexico but even I was taken aback by the delicacies on show at this tiny station buffet. You could get Warm Vimto, A Hard Boiled Egg and a Chorley Cake for £2.50. Vimto, yes, but warm Vimto? And a hard-boiled egg just sitting there on the plate? And a Chorley Cake, which is of course like an Eccles Cake without the sophistication? It felt deeply alien, deeply Lancashire. I chickened out and plumped for a small tea and a chunky Kit Kat.

As I slurped and munched, I began to wonder what the equivalent Yorkshire menu would look like. If Darfield still had a station and I were the manager of the station buffet, what would I offer the commuters and day trippers? Not the Vimto, egg and Chorley combo but how about Yorkshire pudding, parkin and a nice cup of tea? That sounds resolutely authentic. The Yorkshire pudding could be a miniature bite-sized one, maybe filled with something a little daring like chutney. The parkin would be home-made and would have that slightly bitter tang that the best parkin has, parking itself at the back of your tongue, a taste that returns later in the afternoon when you’re feeling bored.

The nice cup of tea isn’t a great choice but I have to admit that I’m struggling a bit with the concept of a traditional Yorkshire drink that has the same eccentricity as the warm Vimto. I’ve spoken to a number of Lancashire types since and they all say that warm Vimto was a childhood favourite, so it wasn’t as though the buffet was making it up; but what could constitute a Tyke Tipple?

I’ve read that ginger beer is particularly Yorkshire, and you could count rhubarb wine from the rhubarb triangle, but neither of those feel different enough, somehow. Some have suggested Dandelion and Burdock as a Yorkshire drink, but the Lancashire buffet offered warm Dandelion and Burdock too. It seems to me then that there’s a gap in the soft-drinks market for something you could call Yorkshire Pop. It should have the astringent quality of Dales rain, and the sweetness of a Scarborough sunrise. It should be white to reflect the White Rose, but not so white that people thought it was milk. It would be sharp like the way we speak, and soft as our hearts are. Any recipes, anyone? Any names? A soft drink revolution awaits...