Jayne Dowle: I'm a card-carrying fan of the Christmas message

We're all guilty of forgetting to despatch the odd birthday card, and the holiday postcard has rapidly been replaced by the daily update text: "having a lovely time, weather warm/rainy/better than at home anyway". At Christmas though, all we have to do is buy the cards, find some stamps, sign our names and post them off. There, it's done, a reminder to everyone you know that you haven't forgotten about them, in the time it would take you to watch The X-Factor. Hey, you can even do it while you are watching The X-Factor. But Oxfam says that the number of cards sent in Britain this Christmas is set to fall by 141 million compared to five years ago.

Sales of the charity's cards are down by 14 per cent. The price of postage - the cost of a first-class stamp rose 2p to 41p in April - and the high cost of cards are cited as the major factors. That and the fact that people just can't be bothered. These are usually the same people who complain about the "stress of Christmas" and then spend every waking hour trailing round the shops, buying more and more things in the hope that it will help them discover the true meaning of the festive season.

I can see the point about the cost of postage, but it is fine to send them second class you know. The price of cards? Come on. Last time I looked in the pound shop, there were boxes of 20 available for the same price as a bar of chocolate. And anybody who feels under pressure to pay a fiver for a "special card" needs to shop around. Market stalls have some lovely cards for much less. If you're organised (and want to save cash), buy your cards earlier in the year, when the shops clear last year's stock. I always pick up a few packs from the RNLI station on our annual Easter break to Whitby, but I recognise that this might be taking it a bit too far.

It's snobbery though, isn't it? You've got the contingent who are so paranoid about what their Christmas card says about them, they daren't send anything but the most expensive. Then they feel so under pressure to keep up, they duck out of the whole thing. My dear late aspirational aunty was so concerned about this, she prided herself on sending "private cards".

The height of sophistication at the time, these were embossed with her home address, even though the home address was no Old Rectory, it said "30 Commercial Street", a two-up two-down in Barnsley. Remembering that still makes me smile, every Christmas, but in my book, any friends who judge you on the thickness of your envelope don't deserve your friendship anyway. If you're worried about trees, look for the "environmentally-friendly" label.

And sorry, concerned as I am about polar bears, I'm afraid my mates mean more to me than the ozone layer.

And then you've got the sector who loftily announce that they aren't sending cards this year, they're giving a donation to charity instead. I have a major problem with this. How will their friends and family know what their decision is, if they don't receive a card telling them so? Will they just assume that they have been forgotten, literally dropped from the Christmas card list? What's charitable about that?

And why not just buy cards from a charity and donate that way? Oh sorry, I forgot, they would still have to be written. I have a solution though, and if I still had my John Bull printing set, I'd invent it myself. What's needed is a rubber stamp, saying "festive greetings from John and Margaret. Sorry this is a cheap card. We're giving the money to the dogs' home instead".

It's bad enough that this tradition is going out of fashion, but worse that people are so wrapped up in their own lives and schedules they can't even find the time to wish each other a happy Christmas. And this is at a time of year when despite the hype and the endlessly-irritating television adverts showing beaming children and impossibly glamorous gatherings, lots of individuals feel especially lonely and disconnected.

I've known families divide into bitter rifts because someone declined to send someone a Christmas card one year. Even if you dread the annual task, have a bit of respect for those who still believe in it.

Yes, I know you will think it's hypocritical, but so are a lot of things about Christmas. So get over yourself and get writing.