Jayne Dowle: Take a tip from me and spread a little happiness

WHY am I not surprised? According to new research, we Yorkshire folk are the worst tippers in the UK.

When it comes to rewarding the waitress at the end of a meal, we leave only a measly 5.76 per cent of the total bill.

And that, I suspect, is if we bother to leave a tip at all.

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It is only in recent years, and with a sophistication garnered from several cruises and a trip to America, that my dad has automatically tipped in a restaurant or café.

I hate to say “typical Yorkshireman” because such a thing does not exist. It’s not that he’s mean. It’s just that it has taken him years to accept that tipping is an expected part of the consumer experience.

Even though he has seen the light, he draws the line. He might round up the odd taxi fare, and I suspect he treats the bar-staff at his local, but Dad would never dream of buying a drink for a stranger pulling his pint.

He would, and I think this is worth noting for those tempted to swallow whole the tight Yorkshireman stereotype, consider this kind of behaviour to be irredeemably flash, the sort of thing expected only of the class of chap known as “fifty bob millionaire”.

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Unlike the American tourists I used to serve when I worked in pubs in Oxford as a student. Tell them a few tales about where Tolkein used to sit when he was writing The Hobbit – these were rarely strictly veracious, just entertaining – and they would be handing over the cash with all the confident swagger of the Marshall Plan.

It looks like it’s still in operation. I reckon the finding that Oxford tops the tipping table, with gratuities amounting to 8.44 per cent of the bar or restaurant bill, cannot be unrelated to the fact that the city is still full of Yanks, still looking for where Tolkein used to sit.

But at least we embroidered the truth with a smile. And having worked not only behind a bar, but in shops and waiting tables in my time, I feel that I am definitely qualified to comment.

There is nothing more annoying than a grumpy chambermaid or taxi driver who expects a tip when they have done nothing whatsoever to deserve it.

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Expect perhaps, that extra 12.5 per cent which certain establishments feel is their right to add on to to a bill in order to cover the service charge.

It usually says “discretionary”, but the worst offenders make it very difficult for the customer to challenge it. This is never, ever fair, especially when most British people, when pushed, would agree that a 10 per cent tip is acceptable, and easy to work out, if not always happily applied.

I’d love to find out where that 12.5 per cent idea came from. I suspect it might have something to do with France. Anyone who has ever been to Paris will know that if you don’t leave a decent wodge on the table, the waiter will spit in your café the next time he sees you.

Perhaps in French school, kids have a special maths module where they learn how to tot up the gratuity without so much as breaking sweat, then learn how to toss a few notes and coins to the recipient without any red-faced muttering whatsoever.

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I mean, who do you know with the mental strength, at the end of an evening, to sit down and work out 12.5 per cent of £86.75, spilt four ways, but er, Alison didn’t have a drink, and Andrew had the steak so that’s £2.95 extra, and, oh, just stick a fiver in…You can see how our Anglo-Saxon tipping habits have ended up so shabby.

I think then that it is time to reclaim the power of the pour-boire.

Let’s stop being so embarrassed about service, and spread a little happiness. Serving staff gossip all the time, believe me. They know who is mean and who is kind, and if you only so much as buy a cappuccino from them every morning, they will remember you, and your scratty little one-pence pieces in the tip box. Positive vibes and all that.

And stand up to that “discretionary service charge”. If you suspect that because it is going through the till it will never go directly to the poor lad who has run about all over the restaurant all night for you, say something.

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Does the establishment look like the kind of place which pays it staff a decent legal rate before tips? Or is it the kind of joint where wages are routinely “made up in tips”? No amount of generosity from customers gives any boss the right to exonerate themselves from paying the full going rate. If in doubt, pick the right moment to ask the person serving you.

Make sure they get your thanks in cash. And find a way of letting the owner/manager/multi-national chain know what you think of their shoddy and illegal practices. That could be worth a lot more than a few coins in a saucer.