Modern Dilemmas: Change is inevitable but don’t be afraid of it, make it work for you

Will I settle in, how will I make new friends and will I like the new town I’m moving to? Can you offer me some guidance?

AS the saying goes, “Change is great – you go first!” The reality is that no matter who goes first, change is happening all the time and to everyone, whether they’re conscious of it or not. The first hurdle to change is between your ears. It’s essential that you think about change differently so you can work with it rather than against it. Here are two ways that have worked for me.

Change involves risk, and risk means you might fail, so the first thing to do is to redefine failure. Instead of thinking of change as a crash and burn experience, reframe it as simply something new and perhaps even a fresh start.

Embrace the fact that what’s exciting lies in trying new experiences and any missteps or mistakes you may or may not make, you can always rebound and recover from. But a life fearful of change is one that is letting your fears hold you back.

A second key to thinking about change differently is to bring it down to size. Rather than an all-out, “nothing is going to be the same”, “woe is me” approach, think of change as simply adapting. Brain research indicates that it takes your brain 10,000 hours or about five years to master something totally new.

But you rarely need to learn something totally new so well that you master it. Most of the time you simply need to stretch yourself, get a bit uncomfortable and adapt. And by doing so you will discover that your ability to adjust is better than you think.

Your ability to settle in and make new friends will lie in how willing you are to make the first moves. If you intend to be shy and hope that people approach you, you may appear to them as stand-offish. Try and keep things light and fun and, as much as I don’t agree with “fitting in”, there is a lot to be said of putting yourself out there to become a part of new team and community.

People will see that you’re 
trying and they will respond 
to you and before you know it 
you will have found that change is not so bad at all, in fact it 
brings you so many new 
gifts as well as the opportunity to try new things and grow.

Besides, the thought of change is always worse than the reality of it.

We always think we like things to stay the same, but the truth is we need change because we need to feel we are alive.

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