There were unusual scenes in Westminster this week as MPs managed to conduct themselves for five minutes without having a screaming meltdown like a group of over-tired toddlers denied a lollipop.
The occasion was the prorogation – or suspension – of Parliament and it all went off perfectly calmly, in stark contrast to the last prorogation a few weeks back that sparked scenes of mass hysteria.
This time there were no red-faced shrieking matches, no foot-stomping tantrums and not a single shout of: “It’s all a fascist coup!”
A few weeks back prorogation was a constitutional outrage that threatened our democracy.
This week exactly the same thing is a perfectly normal parliamentary procedure that has happened hundreds of times over many decades.
What’s the difference? Haven’t a clue. Ask your MP.
MPs demanded the right to reconvene in order to defend democracy from that “tin pot dictator” Boris Johnson.
So what have they achieved since the Supreme Court gave them the right to resume sitting in the Commons?
Precisely nothing is the answer. They held just one vote – and that was on a motion for Parliament to have a three-day recess for the Tory party conference.
So after all the screaming and shouting and grandiose boasting about defending democracy, all they decided was whether to go into recess or not! And now Parliament is suspended again anyway so the whole thing was absolutely pointless. It would be funny if it weren’t so serious.
I for one cannot wait for the chance to sweep this bunch of clowns from office in a general election. The people’s wrath when it comes will be mighty, and all the delays and procrastination won’t put off the inevitable reckoning.
Although there is a distinct lack of anything constructive from Parliament, there is plenty of behind the scenes plotting.
The risibly named “Remain Alliance” – Labour, Lib Dems, SNP, Plaid Cymru, Greens, old uncle Tom Cobley and all – is hatching a plan to depose Johnson and replace him with “unity” Prime Minister. Now that sounds like an actual “coup”.
Of course they are terrified of letting the people decide who should rule us in a general election, because they know they would lose.
The trouble is they can’t unify to decide who their unity candidate should be, and they are falling out in lumps. Should it be Jeremy Corbyn, whose party is so anti-Semitic it is under official investigation by the equality watchdog, the EHRC?
Or perhaps a less divisive candidate such as…er..John Bercow or Dominic Grieve? The infighting is just as vicious as you might imagine.
If they can’t organise a simple student union-style plot, how on earth do they think they could run the country?
Meanwhile, Remainers such as the Lib Dem leader Jo Swinson are shuttling to and from their political masters in Brussels, urging them to reject the Prime Minister’s latest offer of a deal.
This is a dangerous game. There is a feeling in Europe, fostered by Remainers in the UK, that the British people have “changed their mind” and are desperate to remain in the EU.
All the EU has to do is keep rejecting any compromise and eventually the British will be brought to heel.
We will meekly vote in a second referendum or a general election to remain a colony in the new European Empire.
This is a foolish delusion. As former Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt warned this week there is a danger of a disastrous miscalculation that could lead to a no-deal Brexit by mistake if the EU maintains its current obstinacy.
Let us never forget why we are in the current mess. Democracy only works if the losers in a democratic vote accept the result.
If they refuse to accept the result just because they disagree with it – as has happened over the last three years – then the democratic fabric of our society starts to come apart at the seams.
That is precisely what is happening now.
The only way to heal our damaged country is for that vote – the biggest vote for anything in British history – to be respected, and for the UK to leave the EU, deal or no deal.
Only then can we forge a bright future as a newly independent and free nation.