Stop these party games over Christmas rules, Boris Johnson – Jayne Dowle

Every time one of them says something about how Omicron might affect Christmas all the pieces fly up in the air, swirl around in a muddle and the scene shifts yet again. Mixed messages? It’s a veritable blizzard of confusion and contradiction.

This is no way to run a country, and the cracks are beginning to show. It’s argued that the 10.3 per cent swing from the Tories towards Labour in the Old Bexley and Sidcup by-election was down to the ‘sleaze factor’ and the Owen Paterson debacle.

That’s true, to an extent. However, the low turn-out of 34 per cent in this safe Tory seat also shows huge disenchantment with the way the Conservative Government is scattering contradictions over the latest coronavirus restrictions.

No wonder people are doing exactly what they like, ignoring all rules and calls to be vaccinated.

What is it about Christmas that spooks this Government so?

Perhaps the Cabinet don’t realise that after last year’s complete shambles – when Jester Johnson faithfully promised us presents and then had to turn around and backtrack the week before the big day – most of us aren’t expecting this year’s festivities to be anything like the schmaltzy Christmas movies he seems to use as his only seasonal reference points.

Really, I want to scream at the television when yet another Minister puts their foot in it and tells us that we can launch ourselves on strangers under the mistletoe (boo) or chew our way through pigs in blankets at the office shindig (hiss).

Most of us have accepted that the sensible thing to do would be to plan a quiet one and accept anything else as a bonus.

What we need is clear and straightforward advice on how to keep as safe as possible as we go about our business. We also need correct and regular updates of information so we can judge potential risks for ourselves and make our own decisions.

Our hospitality industry needs absolute and total clarity as restaurant owners, venue managers and publicans hang in a state of anxiety over what it is going to be said next.

What we don’t need is to be treated 
as if we are excitable teenage girls – I have one, so I do know – whose idea of Christmas heaven is a round of amazing parties, weekend shopping in a Christmas market so crowded and packed you can’t actually move your 
feet, and a rollercoaster big day which makes Wham’s Last Christmas video look tame.

Most adults, I find, would rather do all their shopping when it’s quiet (like in the middle of the night), or order guiltily online, not see anyone they haven’t bothered with the other 50-odd weeks of the year and pray for a bit of peace (in all senses).

Last week, I was shocked to hear Work and Pensions Secretary Thérèse Coffey, a very sensible-looking 50-year-old with a PhD in chemistry, even say the word “snogging” when she warned us that engaging with strangers under the mistletoe should be avoided for health reasons. “Don’t kiss with people you don’t know,” she ventured.

Downing Street quickly distanced itself from her remarks. And then sober-suited Science Minister George Freeman took it upon himself to announce that, personally, he was against large parties this year and his department had cancelled its own.

And then at some point, I forget when, Sajid Javid, the Health and Social Care Secretary, weighed in and announced that “people can snog who they wish”.

Here we are, in a world which is shutting borders, locking down citizens who are not vaccinated and generally looking like a very anxious place and we have grown men and women, the most senior politicians in the land, arguing with each other over snogging.

And can I just add? It seems hugely ironic that employees of universities, the Civil Service and all those big companies seemingly struck incapable of answering a telephone efficiently since March 2020 because ‘due to the ongoing coronavirus situation our staff are working from home’ are suddenly rising from their home offices, garden rooms and sofas and getting together to shake their thing to Slade.

In the scheme of things, the postponement of large-scale social events is hardly a tragedy, given that more than 145,000 people have died with Covid to date and won’t be celebrating Christmas ever again.

The Prime Minister needs to stop with the party games right now, call his Cabinet to heel and summon up every ounce of levity he possesses. Rather the Grinch than this mad snow globe which threatens to engulf us all.