Sheffield teenager born with cleft lip is a champion for Changing Faces charity

“Sometimes I want to shout out ‘what are you staring at?’ but I realise that won’t change anything.”

Fourteen-year-old Sam Thompson was born with a severe cleft lip and palate. Growing up, he has learned to ignore the cruelty of remarks such as ‘pig nose’ but the looks from strangers in the street still leave him feeling hurt.

“I want to say to those people ‘don’t always judge a book by its cover.’ It’s fine to look because I know I look different but please don’t keep on staring. Come and ask me if you really want to know why I look the way I do.”

Memorial at last to the Barnsley pit children time forgotSam, from Sheffield, had his first operation when he was just six months old and there were many more to follow. Despite his hospital visits, mum Claire was determined he would grow up confident, with the same aspirations and choices as anyone else.

At primary school, he was a happy child with lots of friends, but Claire says her son’s move to secondary several years ago filled her with dread.

“You live with the fear that he will come home and say ‘I’ve been bullied’ and that would break my heart,” she says. There have been bad days and at times, Sam has been the subject of shouts of ‘what’s wrong with your face?’ through the classroom door.

“He’ll come home and be very tough, pretending that nothing is wrong but as he gets tired I can see that he’s not himself,” Claire says.

Sam was nervous about the change to high school too and Claire contacted Changing Faces, a charity that helps anyone who has a mark, scar or condition that makes them look different, to support him with the move. Now, he is a confident teenager and a champion for the organisation, which has a base in Sheffield.

Charity report

Last week, the charity claimed that people with a disfigurement were still being excluded from public life and many were facing discrimination, isolation and loneliness as it released a new research report.

My Visible Difference included a survey of more than 1,000 adults with a disfigurement across the UK and looked at their experiences of employment, health and relationships.

Six in ten said they had experienced hostile behaviour from strangers and almost a quarter said they felt self-conscious or embarrassed going out in public.

One in three felt depressed, sad or anxious as a result of having a visible difference and a third also said their employers had not been effective in preventing discrimination against them in the workplace.

Meet the Sheffield scientist clearing up the world’s nuclear waste“The figures show just how far we still have to go until people with visible differences can live the life they want,” says Julie Carr, a Changing Faces senior practitioner. “They are vulnerable to isolation, loneliness, social anxiety and low self-esteem. They face staring, harassment, bullying and hate crime.”

In the Yorkshire and Humber region, the national charity runs a service, funded by Children in Need until September 2020, that supports support children, young people and their families, from birth to eighteen.

Parents, health professionals, teachers and social workers, as well as young people aged 16 to 18, can all refer to the charity directly.

“We know that developing resilience and boosting self-esteem, alongside greater awareness and education about visible difference, can help young people as they prepare for adulthood, perhaps leaving home for the first time, and entering the world of work,” Julie says. “That’s why it’s so important we offer free emotional support services.”

The charity has launched a new campaign - #PledgeToBeSeen - calling on brands to feature more people with a visible difference and wants employers to tackle all appearance-related discrimination in the workplace. As for Sam, “hopefully people will see past how he looks,” Claire says, “and see him for who he is.”