Forgetful occasion won’t live in memory

If you want to find a party ready for government, this was not it. Instead, Manchester enjoyed the biggest and most expensive argument yet against five-year parliaments. A Labour Party that is either bored of waiting or, hopefully, keeping its power dry for that final sprint.

This then would explain the plodding but short speeches. Much of the Shadow Cabinet will feel their talents have been hidden under eight-minute limits. All except Saint Andy of the NHS. Mr Burnham wrote a great speech against privatising “our” NHS. Alas, he wrote it in 2010. But since everyone keeps clapping when he reads it, he isn’t making many changes.

Perhaps the long wait for power would also explain why there has been so much missing from this conference.

Mention of the deficit springs to mind as a quick example, as does any sense of drama. But also missing is a slogan or a theme. Unless there was one and it was overlooked; it has honestly been hard to tell. Maybe “don’t look now” was the theme? Or perhaps we’re still in the One Nation theme from last year? Do they just carry over if no one says anything new?

A final branding suggestion then to help sum up this year’s conference. If you’re listening Labour, the key message to the troops is: “Friends, go back to your constituencies and prepare to carry on doing whatever that thing was you were doing last week.”