The star, in his guise as the Pub Landlord, had hoped to stage the stunt after saying he was “shocked” at claims he had been parachuted in to fight the South Thanet seat.
But amid an assembled hoard of journalists and cameramen, he learned at Headcorn Aerodrome near Ashford that he was heavier than the 14st 7lb (92kg) limit and too big to jump.
Murray blamed the metric scales he was weighed on and insisted the abandoned attempt now proved he was officially a “political heavyweight”.
He told reporters: “Unfortunately today’s stunt - and that was exactly what it was, a stunt to garner publicity it might generate - has had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.
“It seems that I am too heavy to jump. It’s a double whammy. Not only am I another tragic victim of this country’s obesity epidemic, but also I have been held back by health and safety gone mad.”
The 6ft 3in comic said he was unaware how much he weighed. He was asked whether Friday the 13th was the best day to perform such a stunt.
Murray, dressed in his trademark burgundy blazer, said: “I’m a true British man - I neither cry nor weigh myself on scales. Those are my values.”
The comedian - whose Pub Landlord creation is famed for extolling the joys of all things British - is standing in South Thanet for his newly-formed Free United Kingdom Party (FUKP).
Oxford-educated Murray launched an action plan in January under the guise of his patriotic character in his bid to reach Parliament.
He included a pledge that the UK will leave Europe by 2025 “and the edge of the Solar System by 2050”.