Sketch: The future of British trade - selling fridges to Eskimos

‘Remember the Long Term Economic Plan we fought the last election on? How about the promise to balance the books by 2020?

‘Well. The thing is. Well the thing is this. How can I put this? Basically, we’re ditching all that. Why? Brexit you see, things could get sticky so we’re giving austerity a bit of a break for now’ he may as well have said.

Mr Hammond warned of “turbulence” and “uncertainty” ahead.

If only the Chancellor had consulted his colleague the Environment Secretary before making his speech.

Because in Andrea Leadsom’s post-Brexit world there is only sunshine.

Never mind concerns about access to the European single market, the impact of currency fluctuations and the complexity and sheer workload of negotiating trade deals with nation after nation.

If the Chancellor was warning “there may be trouble ahead”, then Ms Leadsom was singing “let’s face the music and dance”.

And the source of this optimism? “We’re selling coffee to Brazil, sparkling wine to France and naan bread to India,” Mrs Leadsom told conference.

There was more of the same from International Trade Secretary Liam Fox who said Britain was a nation that had sold “tea to China and boomerangs to Australia”.

Our post-Brexit trade strategy?

Selling fridges to Eskimos it seems.