A Royal relationship that was built to last

On Monday, they will celebrate the 70th anniversary of their marriage, which took place at Westminster Abbey in 1947. There will be no great fanfare or public celebration, but a quiet gathering at home.

The understated nature of this marital milestone seems somehow symbolic of their very essence as a couple.

Not for them public displays of affection, interviews with celebrity magazines and social media updates on everything and anything from what they had for breakfast to whether they’ve had a falling-out. Their marriage has been steadfastly their business and we, as the younger generation, have a lot to learn from this.

While the marriages of three of their children have failed, why has this couple’s endured?

One thing seems very clear; that far from being overshadowed by the wife he has spent his life walking a respectful few steps behind, Prince Philip very much wears the trousers in this Royal relationship.

In all the grainy old black and white film footage he’s there at the helm (excuse the seafaring pun), every inch the alpha male of the proceedings. He’s telling off children, clearing corgis out of the way and exuding an air of authority.

Now, we have a generation of men who don’t seem to know what their position in the domestic pecking order is. It’s not their fault; they are victims of the society they have grown up in.

To put it bluntly, many modern-day men lack the oomph of the Duke of Edinburgh and others of his era.

To watch a sad specimen trying (and failing) to tell off a misbehaving child or pushing a supermarket shopping trolley behind a bossy wife wearing clothes she has chosen for him is upsetting. It would be heartbreaking to witness one’s own son joining the ranks of the doorstep daddy – something the Duke, now 96, most definitely wasn’t.

It’s interesting to ponder if this blurring of the traditional roles of men and women is behind many modern marriages coming to an end.

Recently released divorce rates for England and Wales have increased for the first time this decade, according to the Office for National Statistics. There were 106,959 divorces of opposite-sex couples in 2016, an increase of 5.8 per cent compared with 2015.

To say Princess Elizabeth, now our 91 year-old Queen, didn’t have choice when it came to husband material can’t be true. But she’s said to have fallen in love with the dashing 18 year-old naval officer at the tender age of 13. Such steadfastness is hard to imagine among today’s teenagers.

Done something to annoy? Breaking up can be as easy as sending a text message.

It seems almost uncouth to mention it, but the level of pre-marital intimacy the princess and her dashing beau would have shared may also be relevant. Nowadays it’s nothing to send a new boyfriend risqué photographs within the first few days. The courting couple from the love letter days of 70 years ago spent years getting to know each other, rather than racing past first base.

They have shared interests and this is something that may be lacking in modern marriages. We have grown up being encouraged to be independent and do our own thing, to get out and pursue hobbies and even socialise away from our husbands and wives. Our grandparents were much more joined at the hip, sharing experiences together.

Of course money – a common conflict in many marriages – wouldn’t have been a worry for Prince Philip and his bride. But to look at their generation more generally, it was a matter of shame to be in debt. So many now live life on the never-never and this must be a cause of much stress and friction.

Likewise the colossal costs involved in getting a roof over a young couple’s heads. If only some followed their grandparents’ example and managed with a hand-me-down sofa, second-hand car and old television. Holidays were something that used to come further down the line; when there was money in the bank.

In spite of being one of the world’s wealthiest couples, this couple are familiar with the notion of thriftiness. In 2008 the Duke asked his Savile Row tailor to alter a pair of trousers he first wore 52 years ago. His wife, the Queen, wore a lime green outfit to this year’s Royal Ascot that she also wore to a ceremony to mark the 70th anniversary of the D-Day landings back in 2014.

To conclude, the biggest change between married couples over the last 70 years must surely be communication. Living in a palace or not, families would sit down to eat together without the distraction of televisions or mobile phones. They would actually make conversation and show an interest in what the other partner had been doing. They probably knew a lot more about each other’s thoughts and feelings. They walked along holding hands – rather than mobile phones.

Sarah Todd is a former editor of Yorkshire Life magazine.