Stopping Peter’s world from narrowing even further

As a new Reminiscence Library opens, Sarah Freeman reports on the dementia sufferers benefitting from winding back the clock.
Jean and Peter Webb, of Red Hall Walk, LeedsJean and Peter Webb, of Red Hall Walk, Leeds
Jean and Peter Webb, of Red Hall Walk, Leeds

Peter Webb was a car dealer by trade, a skilled mechanic and a keen golfer, but above all he was a family man. Married to wife Jean for the last 53 years, the couple raised their two daughters in an ordinary suburb of Leeds and when grandchildren came along, Peter’s role as loving father expanded to include doting grandfather.

He was never happier than at home, surrounded by his growing family, but having been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease four years ago, the condition’s progress has gradually robbed him of those once treasured memories.

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“We’ve got four grandchildren and there was nothing that Peter loved more than playing with them,” says Jean, who first met her husband on the dance floor of the Astoria in Leeds. “He was always there for them, he was the best grandfather any child could have asked for, but now he often doesn’t remember. Sometimes he’ll get upset, he’ll say, ‘I was an awful granddad, I should have done more’, because the memories of when they were little have been erased. That’s what people mean when they say Alzheimer’s is a cruel disease.”

To remind her husband of the good times they’d enjoyed since they first met on the floor of the Astoria dancehall, Jean made two large montages of photographs from the family album. They hang in the living room of their neat semi-detached home in the east of the city. Now when Peter becomes distressed, she can point to the images of birthday parties, trips to the seaside and family holidays. However, it’s only a temporary respite and within a few minutes she knows he will have forgotten again.

Struggling to remember words and recall the names of even close family members, Peter, always a proud man, often chooses to say nothing very much at all and for Jean, who as well as being his wife is now his full-time carer, her world has also shrunk.

“He would quite happily sit in his armchair and stare at the clouds,” she says. “We were never the type of couple who went out on a Saturday night to meet friends in the pub. We were always at home, always with each other and that’s why it’s so hard. I took Peter to one social group, but as soon as I walked in I knew it wasn’t right.

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“There were a group of men sat playing dominoes, but no one was saying anything. It was just so depressing and I knew Peter would have hated it, he said as much, so we never went back.”

The couple, both 84, do go once a month to a coffee morning at the Sunshine Cafe at Collingham where they have made friends with others in the same situation and one daughter lives close by, while the other visits often from London. However, most of their time is now spent at home.

A little while ago Jean bought a compendium of traditional games in the hope of reigniting some of Peter’s lost memories, but Alzheimer’s has also affected his ability to count. It meant that the board games had to be packed away again and so instead they play dominoes endlessly.

The gradual narrowing of their world was why Jean was so pleased to hear about the opening of the Reminiscence Library. Set up by the Leeds branch of Care and Repair, an independent homes improvement agency, in response to a growing need, the library stocks games, books, jigsaws and flash cards which have been specifically designed for those with dementia.

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People living with dementia often have difficulties with short-term memory, but find it easier to recall events which have happened earlier in their life,” says Lisa Stones, project development officer at Care and Repair. “It has been proved that discussing memories and events from the past helps improve people’s mood and wellbeing and it can help those with dementia stay connected to friends and relatives.

“Leeds, like every town and city in the country has an ageing population and that means that the number of people suffering with dementia is also rising. There is no cure, but we do need to find ways of making life as comfortable as possible, not just for those who are suffering from conditions like Alzheimer’s, but also for the family who care from them.

“We know that they often find it difficult to get out of the house, so this is not a library in the traditional sense. Instead they choose the items they want to borrow from a catalogue and we will drop them off free of charge.”

It’s early days for the Reminiscence Library, which is currently only available for residents in a limited number of Leeds postcodes, but Care and Repair sees no reason, other than of course securing the necessary funding, why it couldn’t’ be rolled out across the entire city and beyond.

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“It’s been a bit of trial and error,” says Jean, who admits the service has been as beneficial for her as it has been for Peter. “He wasn’t really interested in a set of cards we borrowed about the Royals, but I quite enjoyed them, but he’s quite enjoyed looking at the photos from big events from the 1950s and 60s.”

The cards feature photographs of the likes of Roger Bannister crossing the finishing line having recorded the first sub four-minute mile, newspaper front pages from when Yuri Gagarin became the first man to enter space and advertisements that Peter might remember from his youth. On the back there is a short synopsis, explaining the background to the image.

“When someone has Alzheimer’s conversation can become really difficult and something like this is a way of keeping that connection alive,” says Jean. “Peter is a big fan of films and particularly Westerns and if you show him a photograph of some star from the 1950s or 60s it will ring a bell. He might not remember their name, but he will recognise their face and that’s a starting point.

“I think we are going to try one of the jigsaws next. I know one has a picture of one of the old London buses. We happened to be down there on the last day of the Routemaster and the streets were lined with people waving it farewell. We had a lovely day and maybe it will remind him, even just for a few minutes, of a time when he really enjoyed himself.”

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Other packs held by the library, designed for those in the most advanced stages of Alzheimer’s, focus on touch. Instead of photographs, they include a spinning top, kaleidoscope and musical box, but the idea is much the same – to help restore a connection with life before dementia.

A study published earlier this month by the Alzheimer’s Society pointed to what it called an “epidemic of loneliness” among those living with dementia. Almost three quarters of those who took part in the survey said they had scaled back their usual activities due to lack of confidence and nearly two thirds admitted they felt anxious and depressed. “Since my diagnosis of Alzheimer’s,” said one 67-year-old man. “I don’t like going out on my own often. There was an incident recently with a bus driver who was rude, which left me shaken, confused and upset. He drove off without letting me get off the bus. It’s set me back and I have been worried about going out ever since.

“Although I have support from my partner and my carer, I don’t have many others to talk to. Without them, my life would be over.”

The Government has already pledged its support for schemes to increase public awareness of early signs of dementia. Towards the end of last year it announced that by 2015 it wanted to train one million people in England to become “dementia friends”.

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Adapted from a similar programme in Japan, sessions explain what dementia is, what it is like to have the condition and what people can to help if they meet someone displaying symptoms. With the number of sufferers expected to double in the next 30 years, social attitudes towards dementia have to change and as Jean has learnt over the last four years every little really does help.

“Peter does get confused, he does get frustrated,” says Jean. “But he is still my husband and I will always want what’s best for him.”

• Memories Reminiscence Library is available to those living in the LS8, 9, 14 and 15 postcodes. For more information or those interested in helping with funding can call 0113 391 8338.