Stories of a dry stone waller: Taking time to listen to old farmers' tales

OLD Harry lives up to his name as no-one is quite sure exactly how old he is. Rumours abound that he is over 90 but one thing for sure is that he has a tenacity for life and enjoys it to the best of his ability. Harry has a south facing hillside farm of 50 acres and he keeps a few cows and sheep, although his perception of the situation is that the stock keep him.

I go up there occasionally if he has had a wall come down. When he was younger, he repaired any suspect section and generally his field boundaries are in excellent condition.

Harry is from the generation where the hinges on every gate were oiled four times a year, timbered sheds and fence posts were treated with a mixture of creosote and sump oil annually (as were any cases of ringworm), molehills were flattened and thistles cut back, and the field edges were devoid of any scrap metal or plastic containers as these were all carefully gathered up.

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I was up there the other week and after I had repaired his wall we had a cup of tea and he told me about his old neighbour, Bob, who had died 50 years ago. Just after the war Bob was a bachelor farmer with a few milk cows and poultry but he had little time, or inclination, for housework. So it was suggested to him that he should acquire a housekeeper. This was a grand idea and before long Nettie arrived at the farm.

She was a good cook and kept the house clean and soon Bob had persuaded her that in her spare time she could help him in the mistal feeding, watering and mucking out the cows and also take care of collecting and selling the eggs from the hens. Bob came to depend heavily on Nettie and the two became very close and before long Nettie was upgraded to "live-in house keeper".

Harry looks over his glasses seriously and the tale takes a sombre tone. Unfortunately, after a few years, he says, Nettie was taken ill and died suddenly. Bob was very upset by this as at one stroke he had lost his friend, his housekeeper and his labourer. However, he could not wallow in his misery for long and he decided that he should get a replacement.

"Tha'd think he were talking about an aud milk cow that 'ud gone wrong o' its bag and 'ad gone off to t'knackers, and he 'ad t'go to t'auction for a fresh calved heifer!"

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Bob knew of a family, the Newsholmes, living over the back of the hill where there were three daughters; Norah was very good with calves, Rachael milked the cows, and Kathleen looked after the poultry. Three good strong lasses but which one for Bob? Bob pondered on the dilemma for a while and then thought that if he were getting a new horse, what would he do? Why, of course! He would get it vetted by the vet. He didn't want one that would only last a year or two, did he? For his housekeeper predicament he would ask the local doctor. He would have him "vet" the three Newsholme sisters and advise Bob on which of the three would be the most suitable.

Bob trotted down to the village and asked Paddy the doc if he could help him out and was dismayed when the doctor started talking about ethics and confidentiality and that he could not help him. He did get a new housekeeper soon after but it seems it was Bob that needed "vetting" as he died soon afterwards.

"Well, lad," says Harry as I got up to go. "I hope to see you again but p'raps not professionally next time. It eats into my profits!"

I enjoy listening to the old- timers tell their tales. Every generation throws up characters but they are not here forever. Everybody's spring unwinds until it is done so we should latch on to the stories of those who are on their last coil.

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Harry has always walked with a limp and says he has a "right leg an inch and three-quarts shorter than t'other". He compensates for this with a distinctive swaying gait and it has been of no detriment to his longevity. He says that one of his witty friends used to say that it made it easier for Harry when he went across the steep hillside to fetch the cows in for milking.

"Silly daft beggar!" says Harry. "O'reet goin' out fur t'cows but 'ow difficult does he think it made it fetchin' 'em 'ome!"

CW 30/10/10